TED演講：請(qǐng)別忘記感謝身邊的人

　　因此我的問(wèn)題是，為什么我們不索求我們需要的東西呢? 我認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)結(jié)婚25年的男士 渴望聽(tīng)到他妻子說(shuō)， “感謝你為這個(gè)家在外賺錢，這樣我才能在家陪伴著孩子，” 但他從來(lái)不去問(wèn)。 我認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)精于此道的女士。 每周一次，她見(jiàn)到丈夫后會(huì)說(shuō)， “我真的希望你為我對(duì)這個(gè)家和孩子們付出的努力而感謝我。” 他會(huì)應(yīng)和到“哦，真是太棒了，真是太棒了。” 贊揚(yáng)別人一定要真誠(chéng)， 但她對(duì)贊美承擔(dān)了責(zé)任。 一個(gè)從我上幼兒園就一直是朋友的叫April的人， 她會(huì)感謝她的孩子們做了家務(wù)。 她說(shuō)：“為什么我不表示感謝呢，即使他們本來(lái)就要做那些事情?”

　　So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.

　　因此我的問(wèn)題是，為什么我不說(shuō)呢? 為什么其它人不說(shuō)呢? 為什么我能說(shuō)：“我要一塊中等厚度的牛排， 我需要6號(hào)尺寸的鞋子，” 但我卻不能說(shuō)：“你可以贊揚(yáng)我嗎?” 因?yàn)檫@會(huì)使我把我的重要信息與你分享。 會(huì)讓我告訴了你我內(nèi)心的不安。 會(huì)讓你認(rèn)為我需要你的幫助。 雖然你是我最貼心的人， 我卻把你當(dāng)作是敵人。 你會(huì)用我托付給你的重要信息做些什么呢? 你可以忽視我。 你可以濫用它。 或者你可以滿足我的要求。

　　And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

　　我把我的自行車拿到車行--我喜歡這么做-- 同樣的自行車，他們會(huì)對(duì)車輪做整形。 那里的人說(shuō)：“當(dāng)你對(duì)車輪做整形時(shí)， 它會(huì)使自行車變成更好。” 我把這輛自行車拿回來(lái)， 他們把有小小彎曲的鐵絲從輪子上拿走 這輛車我用了2年半，現(xiàn)在還像新的一樣。 所以我要問(wèn)在場(chǎng)的所有人， 我希望你們把你們的車輪整形一下： 真誠(chéng)面對(duì)對(duì)你們想聽(tīng)到的贊美。 你們想聽(tīng)到什么呢? 回家問(wèn)問(wèn)你們的妻子，她想聽(tīng)到什么? 回家問(wèn)問(wèn)你們的丈夫，他想聽(tīng)到什么? 回家問(wèn)問(wèn)這些問(wèn)題，并幫助身邊的人實(shí)現(xiàn)它們。

　　And it's simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas.

　　非常簡(jiǎn)單。 為什么要關(guān)心這個(gè)呢? 我們談?wù)撌澜绾推健?我們?cè)趺从貌煌奈幕?，不同的語(yǔ)言來(lái)保持世界和平? 我想要從每個(gè)小家庭開(kāi)始。 所以讓我們?cè)诩依锞桶堰@件事情做好。 我想要感謝所有在這里的人們 因?yàn)槟銈兪呛谜煞?，好母親， 好伙伴，好女兒和好兒子。 或許有些人從沒(méi)跟你們說(shuō)過(guò) 但你們已經(jīng)做得非常非常得出色了。 感謝你們來(lái)到這里， 向世界顯示著你們的智慧，并用它們改變著世界。