勵(lì)志散文：該和這些幼稚行為說(shuō)拜拜啦

　　摘要:20多歲的你已經(jīng)是個(gè)大人了，有一些幼稚的行為還是不要再做了。不管是那些不好的生活習(xí)慣、那些沒(méi)注意到的社交禮儀，還是那些在感情和人際關(guān)系處理上的幼稚行為，該丟掉的就丟掉吧。是時(shí)候成熟起來(lái)啦!

　　1. Poor hygiene.

　　不講衛(wèi)生。

　　As kids we often abhorred the concept of cleanliness. We relished wearing the same grass-stained, smelly pants for as long as possible. The thought of bathing made us shiver in ourVelcro strapped shoes. Now, it’s a different story. It’s remarkable how many folks out thereseem to think that deodorant is optional. I mean, technically it is but it shouldn’t be. They needlaws enforcing this. If the pungent aroma of your body odor is burning nostrils, and causingeyes to water, you should receive some type of ticket. Stink needs repercussions just as muchas loitering does.

　　小孩子一般都不愛(ài)干凈。就算一直穿著草跡斑斑臭不啦嘰的褲子也無(wú)所謂。一聽(tīng)說(shuō)要洗澡，我們可能會(huì)趿拉著球鞋磨蹭半天?，F(xiàn)在又完全是另外一回事了。竟然有很多人用除臭劑代替洗澡——我覺(jué)得真是無(wú)法忍受。要是除臭劑混雜著體味都能熏得人眼睛睜不開(kāi)，那這種人真該被罰款。臭不啦嘰跟游手好閑一樣令人討厭。

　　2. Interrupting conversations.

　　打斷談話。

　　Remember being five, and when your parents were talking to other grownups you’d walk overmid-conversation, tug on their shirts and repeatedly call, “Mom/Dad?” Yeah — that wasimproper then — but you were five, so it was fathomable. Some people are incapable ofcomprehending the notion of waiting their turn to speak. When this happens, utilize thesarcastic old saying: “I apologize, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning ofyours?”

　　記得5歲的時(shí)候，當(dāng)父母跟其他大人談話時(shí)，你會(huì)走過(guò)去扯著他們的衣角不斷叫喚“媽媽/爸爸” 來(lái)打斷談話嗎?盡管很不禮貌，但你才5歲嘛，情有可原。有些人就是等不及別人講完再開(kāi)口。遇到這種情況，可以略微暗諷一下：“不好意思，我話還沒(méi)說(shuō)完，影響到你了嗎?”

　　3. Fighting.

　　打架斗毆。

　　With the massive rise of ignorant and disrespectful individuals populating the world — verbalspats and altercations are inevitable. Contrary to popular belief, screaming obscenities andpuffing your chest out as friends hold you back, doesn’t reek of badass-ness. In fact, it looksrather foolish. If you consider the end result of a fight, is it ever good? Let’s consider thepossible outcomes:

　　現(xiàn)如今無(wú)知不講理的人越來(lái)越多，爭(zhēng)執(zhí)和打架也不可避免。其實(shí)，爭(zhēng)執(zhí)和強(qiáng)出頭根本就嚇不倒那些惹是生非的家伙，反倒顯得你很幼稚。想想要是最后真動(dòng)起手來(lái)，后果會(huì)好么?結(jié)果可能會(huì)是：

　　You win the fight. Receive some high fives. It ain’t UFC, so you won’t get a paycheck oranything. And now you’ve made an enemy (or enemies).

　　雖然挨了幾巴掌，但你打贏了?？蛇@又不是終極格斗冠軍賽，就算你贏了也撈不到報(bào)酬或其他回報(bào);相反，你卻樹(shù)了不少敵。

　　The cops come. You get arrested, which means fines, jail-time, etc.

　　警察把你拷了起來(lái)，然后罰款甚至蹲看守所等等。

　　You hit the other person in the wrong spot, accidentally doing significant and permanentdamage. Now you’re screwed.

　　你一拳擊中了對(duì)方要害，給人家造成了一輩子的傷害。這下你也完了。

　　The opponent hits you in the wrong spot, putting you on the receiving end of some seriousdamage. Now you’re screwed.

　　對(duì)方一拳擊中了你的要害，你得一輩子面對(duì)這些永久性傷害。你還是完了。

　　You lose. Everyone witnessed you getting your ass kicked, and now you’re ashamed.

　　你打不過(guò)對(duì)方。所有人都眼睜睜看你被人家整得死去活來(lái)，你羞恨交加。

　　They pull out a weapon and stab or shoot you. While I’ve never been stabbed or shot, I hear itstings much worse than your ego would after simply walking away from a physicalconfrontation.

　　對(duì)方用武器(刀槍)對(duì)付你。雖然我沒(méi)有被刀刺或槍擊的經(jīng)歷，但我聽(tīng)說(shuō)這會(huì)讓你痛不欲生、死去活來(lái)。

　　4. Social networking your relationship.

　　網(wǎng)絡(luò)社交。

　　It’s such a stereotypically high school thing to do. Notifying Facebook every time you and your significant other have a squabble is a perfectly idiotic combination of obnoxious and immature. Couples’ quarrels are normal, but your friends/family shouldn’t be alerted about each one of them via Tweets and status updates. Yes, that includes the oh-so-subtle, back-and-forth song lyrics and quotes that are clearly projected at each other. Honestly it makes your relationship look shitty, and all of us wish you’d break up.

　　這么俗套的事情也只有高中的時(shí)候比較熱衷罷了。要是你每次跟“親愛(ài)的他/他”慪氣就更新Facebook狀態(tài)，簡(jiǎn)直是個(gè)傻瓜，既幼稚又令人討厭。戀人吵架很正常，但你也沒(méi)必要不斷更新?tīng)顟B(tài)攪得親朋好友不得安寧吧?哪怕你用歌詞和引用之類的來(lái)含沙射影，也還是很煩人。而且說(shuō)實(shí)在的，你這么做只會(huì)讓人覺(jué)得你倆的關(guān)系很糟糕，還不如早些分手呢!

　　5. Mispronouncing pronounceable words.

　　拼錯(cuò)不該拼錯(cuò)的單詞。

　　Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Speech impediments are one thing, but baby talk in an attempt to be adorable should stop entirely.

　　現(xiàn)如今把意大利面(spaghetti)說(shuō)成“pasquetti”早已不流行了。其實(shí)，語(yǔ)言障礙是一回事，但為了裝可愛(ài)而嗲聲嗲氣說(shuō)話的習(xí)慣卻真要不得。

　　6. Picking your nose.

　　挖鼻孔。

　　Seriously, just grab a tissue. If I walk in a room and you jerk your hand away from your face, then begin to roll something between your index finger and thumb, I know you’re guilty.

　　說(shuō)真的，還是抽張餐巾紙吧!要是我走進(jìn)房間一眼看到你正煞有介事地?fù)副强祝隙〞?huì)認(rèn)為你這人太沒(méi)素質(zhì)。

　　7. Tantrums.

　　亂發(fā)脾氣。

　　By now you’ve likely experienced enough scenarios not going your way, to take a loss and keep things moving. Throwing fits, breaking stuff, screaming, and having an attitude when the going gets tough isn’t going to solve anything. Circumstances may cause rough patches, but battle them head on. Don’t sulk and act like a bratty toddler, having an outburst in the store ’cause their parents didn’t buy ’em what they wanted. Also, breaking objects is a bad habit. You’ll regret throwing and damaging your phone, or punching a hole in the wall once the anger wears off.

　　長(zhǎng)這么大，你肯定遇過(guò)很多不盡人意的事情、遭受過(guò)損失，然后繼續(xù)前行。遇到困難就歇斯底里亂摔東西根本解決不了問(wèn)題，反倒使情況惡化、爭(zhēng)吵加劇。別再跟討厭的小孩一樣，因?yàn)榘謰寷](méi)買他想要的東西就直接在店里大哭大鬧。更何況，亂摔東西是個(gè)壞習(xí)慣，等氣消了以后，你可能會(huì)為自己摔壞手機(jī)或砸破墻壁感到懊悔。

　　8. Sending friends to talk to girls for you.

　　讓朋友為你向女孩子傳話。

　　I remember sending my friend over to ask a girl for her phone number. She gave a firm, “No,” and stated that if I wanted to approach her, I needed to do it myself. Mind you, this was in fifth grade. If a girl who hadn’t reached her teens yet recognized a cowardly act, surely grown women will. Just man up, and go for it. The only thing worse than getting rejected is having to be informed of said denial by a middleman.

　　我還記得自己曾讓朋友向一個(gè)女孩要電話號(hào)碼，女孩果斷拒絕了，還說(shuō)如果我想跟她交朋友，應(yīng)該自己拿出行動(dòng)來(lái)。——不過(guò)，當(dāng)時(shí)我才上五年級(jí)。我認(rèn)為這么小的女孩都能看出我的怯懦，成熟女性肯定也會(huì)。拿出男子漢的樣子，自己行動(dòng)起來(lái)!比起拒絕，更慘的是從別人口中得知”你出局了”。

　　9. High school festivities.

　　參加高中聚會(huì)。

　　If you’re 20+ years of age, you should not be asking things like, “Yo, where the graduation parties at?!” Let it go. You had your four years to shine. The same thing goes for ex-athletes who attend games and critique the current team — attempting to relive their glory days. Move on, find a hobby, and live a grown-up life.

　　如果你已經(jīng)20出頭，就不該再問(wèn)“哎，畢業(yè)聚會(huì)定在哪里啊”這樣的問(wèn)題。過(guò)去的已經(jīng)過(guò)去，四年時(shí)光不再。否則你就像參加比賽的往屆冠軍，一味地挑現(xiàn)在團(tuán)隊(duì)的刺兒，企圖重溫以往的輝煌。是時(shí)候繼續(xù)前行了——發(fā)展某項(xiàng)興趣，像成年人一樣生活吧。