簡(jiǎn)單易懂好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話

　　《萬(wàn)榮72爭(zhēng)笑話》是一部方言性質(zhì)極強(qiáng),幽默意味十足的笑話集，下面小編整理了簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄

　　實(shí)質(zhì)性的糾正

　　Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast thismorning.

　　Walter: What was it?

　　Teacher: Eggs.

　　Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.

　　老　師：沃爾特，你為什么不洗臉?我看得出你今天早飯吃了什么。

　　沃爾特：我吃了什么?

　　老　師：雞蛋。

　　沃爾特：錯(cuò)了，老師。那是昨天吃的。

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話鑒賞

　　當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲小偷

　　A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend.Can you show me something less expensive?"

　　一個(gè)小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時(shí)候被當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲。“聽著，”小偷說(shuō)，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒(méi)發(fā)生，你看怎樣?”

　　經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說(shuō)道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)。你們還有沒(méi)有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話賞析

　　一塊還是兩塊?

　　Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

　　Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

　　顧客：服務(wù)員，我盤子里怎么只有一塊肉?

　　服務(wù)員：先生，請(qǐng)稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞

　　打獵秘籍

　　Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

　　"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

　　"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out,you shoot."

　　Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow myadvice?" Ivan asks.

　　"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.

　　"And what came out?"

　　"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."

　　兩個(gè)俄國(guó)獵人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊，”伊凡說(shuō)，“看看這獸皮!”

　　“你是如何發(fā)現(xiàn)這么大的熊的?”謝爾蓋問(wèn)道。

　　“很簡(jiǎn)單，”伊凡說(shuō)，“你站在一個(gè)洞前并吹哨子。熊出來(lái)時(shí)你就開槍。”

　　幾周后，兩人見面了。謝爾蓋渾身纏滿了繃帶。“難道你沒(méi)有聽我的建議?”伊凡問(wèn)。

　　“我當(dāng)然是按你的建議做的。我站在一個(gè)洞前并吹哨子，”謝爾蓋回答說(shuō)。

　　“出來(lái)了什么?”

　　“向著我來(lái)的，”謝爾蓋說(shuō)，“像是穿越西伯利亞的快車。”

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話品味

　　一封特別的感謝信

　　nce I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過(guò)了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票——真遺憾，您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”

　　簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀

　　委婉的報(bào)喪方式

　　Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"

　　"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"

　　"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."

　　郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并養(yǎng)了一只貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這只貓。有一次他要外出幾天，臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這只寵物。出門后的頭一天晚上，他打來(lái)電話詢問(wèn)：“埃德格好嗎?”

　　“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之后，詹姆斯說(shuō)：“郝伯特，你真沒(méi)心沒(méi)肺，你知道我多么喜歡埃德格——你應(yīng)該把這個(gè)消息慢慢地告訴我。當(dāng)我問(wèn)起埃德格今晚怎樣時(shí)，你應(yīng)該說(shuō)，‘埃德格爬上了屋頂，我已給消防隊(duì)打了電話，讓他們把它救下來(lái)。’我明天又給你打電話時(shí)，你應(yīng)該說(shuō)消防隊(duì)營(yíng)救埃德格遇到了困難，但你相信他們會(huì)成功。在我第三天給你打電話時(shí)，你可以說(shuō)消防隊(duì)員已盡了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來(lái)，被送到獸醫(yī)那里。在我最后一次給你打電話詢問(wèn)，你可以說(shuō)盡管對(duì)埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它還是死了。這是一個(gè)富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的消息時(shí)所用的方式。哦，趁我沒(méi)忘記還有件事順便問(wèn)一下，”詹姆斯補(bǔ)充道，“母親好嗎?”

　　“哦……”一陣沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋頂。”