特黄特色三级在线观看免费,看黄色片子免费,色综合久,欧美在线视频看看,高潮胡言乱语对白刺激国产,伊人网成人,中文字幕亚洲一碰就硬老熟妇

學(xué)習(xí)啦>學(xué)習(xí)英語>英語閱讀>英語笑話>

經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話集錦

時間: 韋彥867 分享

  笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的英語幽默笑話集錦,歡迎閱讀!

  英語幽默笑話集錦精選

  (一)

  豬還是女巫 Pig or Witch

  A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.

  一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車,一個女人相向駕車而來。

  As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

  他們相遇時,那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到:“豬!!”

  The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"

  那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道:“女巫!!”

  They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.

  他們繼續(xù)前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉(zhuǎn)彎時,撞上了路中間的一頭豬。

  If only men would listen.

  要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。

  (二)

  The World's Greatest Swordsman

  世界上最偉大的擊劍手

  At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

  在一場世界最佳擊劍手表演中,排名第三的擊劍手上場了。一只蒼蠅放了出來,劍劃了一個弧,他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來。緊接著排名第二的人將一只蒼蠅切成了四半?,F(xiàn)場一陣沉默,人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

  His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

  他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來——然而那只昆蟲還在繼續(xù)飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標(biāo),然而他還在微笑著。

  "Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

  “你為什么這么高興?”有人嚷道,“你沒擊中!”

  "Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

  “啊,”劍手答道,“你剛才沒有很仔細(xì)地看。蒼蠅還活著,是的——但他永遠(yuǎn)也做不成爸爸了。”

  英語幽默笑話集錦閱讀

  (一)

  天氣預(yù)報 Weather Predict

  Weather Predict A film crew was on location deep in the desert.

  天氣預(yù)報一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.

  One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."

  一天,一個印度老人到導(dǎo)演跟前告訴導(dǎo)演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

  The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrowstorm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

  一周后,印度人又來告訴導(dǎo)演說,"明天有風(fēng)暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

  "This Indian is incredible," said the director.

  "印度人真神,"導(dǎo)演說.

  He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

  他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預(yù)報天氣.

  However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

  幾次預(yù)報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.

  Finally the director sent for him.

  最后,導(dǎo)演派人去把他叫來了.

  "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. Whatwill the weather be like?"

  "我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導(dǎo)演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"

  The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

  印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."

  (二)

  模仿鳥兒 Imitate Birds

  A man tried to get a job in a stage show.

  一個人想在一個舞臺劇中找份工作。

  "What can you do?" asked the producer.

  “你能干什么呢?”負(fù)責(zé)人問。

  "Imitate birds," the man said.

  “模仿鳥兒,”那人說。

  "Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

  “你在開玩笑吧?”負(fù)責(zé)人答道,“那樣的人一毛錢可以找一打。”

  "Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.

  “噢,那就算了。”那名演員說著,展開翅膀,飛出了窗口。

  英語幽默笑話集錦學(xué)習(xí)

  (一)

  But the teacher cried

  老師哭了

  The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled.

  六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。

  His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wantedanything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his firstday away from his grandmother's loving arms.

  他的父親知道這一點,可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開祖母的懷抱。

  When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

  約翰放學(xué)了,他奶奶在門口接他并問道:

  "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

  “學(xué)校怎么樣?你過的好嗎?哭了沒有?”

  "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

  “哭?”約翰問,“不,我沒哭,可老師哭了。”

  (二)

  鬧饑荒的原因 The Reason of the Famine

  In one dinner party,a capitalist eyed bony Bernard Shawup and down regretfully, and said inall seriousness,"Look at your appearance,it really makes people believe that all theBritishare are starving."

  在一次宴會上,一個資本家用遺憾的目光上下打量著瘦骨嶙峋的肖伯納,一本正經(jīng)地說:“看看你的模樣,真叫人以為英國人都在挨餓。”

  Bernard Shaw,examining the potbellied capitalist,said,"But,I know as soon as I saw you thereason why Britain is suffering from famine."

  肖伯納審視著大腹便便的資本家說:“但是,我一見到你,就知道英國正在鬧饑荒的原因了。”

經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話集錦

笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的英語幽默笑話集錦,歡迎閱讀! 英語幽默笑話集錦精選 (一) 豬還是女巫 Pig or Witch A man is driving up a st
推薦度:
點擊下載文檔文檔為doc格式

精選文章

  • 經(jīng)典短英語幽默笑話大全
    經(jīng)典短英語幽默笑話大全

    笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。下面小編整理了短英語幽默笑話,希望大家喜歡! 短英語幽默笑話摘抄 Friend for Dinner 請朋友吃飯 Ho

  • 初中英語幽默笑話大全
    初中英語幽默笑話大全

    到目前為止,冷笑話并沒有引起學(xué)術(shù)界的廣泛關(guān)注,對其進行細(xì)致且系統(tǒng)的研究寥寥可數(shù)。下面小編整理了初中英語幽默笑話大全,希望大家喜歡! 初中英

  • 經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話小故事
    經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話小故事

    冷笑話不同于一般的笑話,以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間制造出一種特殊氛圍。下面小編整理了英語幽默笑話小故事,希望大家喜歡! 英語幽默笑話小故事

  • 簡潔英語幽默笑話大全
    簡潔英語幽默笑話大全

    冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象,越來越受到大家的關(guān)注,尤其在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志、微博、電影上十分盛行。下面小編整理了簡潔英語幽默笑話,希望大家喜歡

1496450