爆笑的小學(xué)生英語小笑話

　　笑話中人物對(duì)“合作原則”四準(zhǔn)則有意無意的違反常常產(chǎn)生幽默。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的爆笑的小學(xué)生英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑的小學(xué)生英語小笑話大全

　　(一)

　　If I Am a Manager

　　如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　所有的學(xué)生都在動(dòng)筆寫了，只有一個(gè)男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。

　　(二)

　　A Man of Actions

　　一個(gè)言出必行的人

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have nodoubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said tome this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里，一個(gè)年輕人情緒激動(dòng)地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個(gè)家伙不收回他今早　　對(duì)我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should wesupport him and learn from him!” said another.

　　下面一片喧嘩。“真是個(gè)言出必行的人。”一個(gè)人艷羨地說。另一個(gè)說：“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他。”

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　突然，一個(gè)女孩問道：“那家伙對(duì)你說什么了，霍波?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er•••er•••Miss Rose, er•••he told me to get clean awayfrom Oxford this very evening!”

　　他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　爆笑的小學(xué)生英語小笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　第一次坐飛機(jī) First Flight

　　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about airaccidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that itwas very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　　約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機(jī)，他讀過許多關(guān)于飛行事故的報(bào)道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請(qǐng)他乘自己的小飛機(jī)飛行時(shí)，約翰遜先生非常擔(dān)心，不敢接受。不過，由于朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終于被說服了，登上了飛機(jī)。

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson hadheard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he wasextremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　他的朋友啟動(dòng)引擎開始在機(jī)場(chǎng)跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險(xiǎn)的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。

　　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and saidto his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

　　過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對(duì)朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是?”

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."

　　“那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”

　　(二)

　　第一次與最后一次 My First and My Last

　　When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon becamevery good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

　　喬治35歲時(shí)買了架小型飛機(jī)，并開始學(xué)習(xí)駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機(jī)做各種各樣的特技飛行了。

　　George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane.Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, soI'll go."

　　喬治有個(gè)朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動(dòng)邀請(qǐng)馬克乘他的飛機(jī)上天兜一圈。馬克心想，“我乘大客機(jī)飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機(jī)，我不妨試一試。”

　　They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

　　升空后，喬治飛了有半個(gè)小時(shí)，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。

　　When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend ina shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

　　后來他們著陸了。馬克很高興能夠安全返回地面。他用顫抖的聲音對(duì)他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機(jī)做了兩次飛行。”

　　Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"

　　喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行?”

　　"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.

　　“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”馬克答道。

　　經(jīng)典的爆笑的小學(xué)生英語小笑話

　　(一)

　　Compliment

　　恭維話

　　"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a callfrom Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. Youwretched, rude boy!"

　　“拉里，你過來!”媽媽放下電話后生氣地說，“我剛才接到哈里森夫人地電話，她告訴我你在昨晚的學(xué)校舞會(huì)上對(duì)多麗絲行為不好，你可恥，粗魯!”

　　"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth."I even paid her a compliment whenwe had a dance."

　　“媽媽，我對(duì)她很好，真的!”小伙子不服氣地說。“當(dāng)我和她跳舞時(shí)我還說了一句恭維她的話。”

　　"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"

　　“你真的這么做的嗎?”媽媽嚴(yán)厲地問。“你的原話是怎么說的?”

　　"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"

　　“我說，啊呀，多麗絲，你比我跳過舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”

　　(二)

　　其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé) I'll See to the Rest

　　A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on theplatform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

　　一位車上的列車員剛發(fā)出信號(hào)讓火車啟動(dòng)，這時(shí)他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺(tái)上一節(jié)打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。

　　"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

　　“快點(diǎn)，小姐!”他喊道：“請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上。”

　　"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

　　“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。

　　"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

　　“請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)。”