經(jīng)典英文小學(xué)生幽默笑話

　　中國(guó)萬(wàn)榮笑話博覽園由"歡樂(lè)廣場(chǎng)、笑話王國(guó)、笑話產(chǎn)業(yè)園"三大板塊組成。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的小學(xué)生英文幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　小學(xué)生英文幽默笑話大全

　　(一)

　　到底誰(shuí)逆行?

　　As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard hiswife'svoiceurgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going thewrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

　　一個(gè)老人駕車在高速路上疾馳，這時(shí)他的車載電話響了。接通后，電話中傳出他老婆焦急的聲音，“赫爾曼，剛剛新聞?wù)f280號(hào)公路上有輛車逆行，你要小心啊!”

　　"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

　　“該死的，”赫爾曼說(shuō)，“誰(shuí)說(shuō)只有一輛啊!簡(jiǎn)直有上百輛!”

　　(二)

　　吵架可以減肥

　　Two ladies were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,

　　兩個(gè)女人逛商場(chǎng)的時(shí)候討論起她們的家庭生活，一個(gè)說(shuō)道：

　　"Seems like all Alfred and I do is fight. I've been so upset that I've lost 20 pounds."

　　”好像在我和阿爾弗雷德之間就只有爭(zhēng)吵了，搞得我心煩意亂，為此我已經(jīng)瘦了20磅了。“

　　"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

　　”那你為什么不干脆離開(kāi)他啊?“她朋友問(wèn)道。

　　"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

　　”嗯!還不可以。“第一個(gè)女人回答，”我想先再瘦15磅再說(shuō)。

　　小學(xué)生英文幽默笑話欣賞

　　(一)

　　死后的探望

　　An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. Shetold her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, shewanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

　　布魯克林的一位年邁的婦女決定準(zhǔn)備自己的遺囑，提出最后的要求。她告訴自己的猶太教士說(shuō)她有兩個(gè)臨終前的要求。第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布魯明黛。

　　"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"

　　“布魯明黛!”教士叫道，“為什么在布魯明黛?”

　　"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

　　“那樣的話我女兒肯定一周會(huì)探望我兩次。”

　　(二)

　　這就叫"重聽(tīng)"

　　Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

　　有三個(gè)退休的老人，都患有重聽(tīng)。三月里風(fēng)和日麗的一天，他們?cè)谝黄鹕⒉健?/p>

　　One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

　　其中一個(gè)人對(duì)另一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“這天兒風(fēng)有點(diǎn)兒大，是吧?”

　　"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

　　“不是，”第二個(gè)人回答道，“今天是星期四。”

　　And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

　　第三個(gè)人插話進(jìn)來(lái)說(shuō)：“我也是，去買瓶可樂(lè)吧。”

　　經(jīng)典的小學(xué)生英文幽默笑話

　　(一)

　　山谷到處是車禍現(xiàn)場(chǎng)

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the autoaccessories in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car onthe road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough just below it, where youcan find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."

　　一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)向一山民打聽(tīng)：“請(qǐng)問(wèn)，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”　　山民說(shuō)：“這條路上經(jīng)常有人開(kāi)英雄車，前面不遠(yuǎn)處是個(gè)急轉(zhuǎn)彎，急轉(zhuǎn)彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不著花錢(qián)。”

　　(二)

　　冷靜,冷靜!

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby.The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don'tyell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　一個(gè)人在超市里推著購(gòu)物車，一個(gè)小孩子在車?yán)锊煌５拇蟪炒蠼小Ｍ栖嚨哪腥艘恢睖厝岬啬钸吨?rdquo;別激動(dòng)，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來(lái)，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to sootheyour son, Albert."

　　站在他旁邊的一位女士對(duì)他說(shuō)道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　男人看著那位女士說(shuō)：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。