英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘左右
正是在文藝復(fù)興時(shí)期,西方的笑話藝術(shù)得到了重生,見(jiàn)證了對(duì)形形色色的趣聞?shì)W事,各種各樣的妙語(yǔ)的超乎尋常興趣。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話篇一
“班”和“笨驢”
Class and AssProfessor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.” A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”. Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”.
[中文翻譯]
格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門上貼了這樣一個(gè)通知：“勞里教授今天不會(huì)他的班。” 一個(gè)學(xué)生讀了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。 后來(lái)勞里教授來(lái)了，也想開(kāi)開(kāi)玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”。
一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話篇二
Social Worker 社會(huì)工作者
Two social workers were walking through a roughpart of the city in the evening.
有兩名社會(huì)工作者在晚上的時(shí)候 走過(guò)市區(qū)的簡(jiǎn)陋地方。They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,
他們聽(tīng)到從后巷傳來(lái)的求救呻吟聲和很小的哭喊聲。
they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.
他們發(fā)現(xiàn)有一個(gè)意識(shí)不清的人躺在血泊之中。
"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten " he pleaded.
他在懇求說(shuō)：“救救我吧，我被人行兇搶劫，還遭到惡意痛打一頓。”
The two social workers turned and walked away .
這兩名社會(huì)工作者轉(zhuǎn)身離去。
One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."
其中一位向她的同事說(shuō)：“你知道吧，于下這擋事的火才真 的需要協(xié)助呀。”
一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話篇三
快樂(lè)大家庭 One Big Happy Family
The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"
George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典獄長(zhǎng)對(duì)獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因?yàn)槊糠曛苣┑奶皆L日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來(lái)訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一個(gè)探訪日，典獄長(zhǎng)把喬治叫到辦公室說(shuō)：“喬治，我注意到從來(lái)沒(méi)有人來(lái)探望過(guò)你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒(méi)有任何朋友或家人嗎?”
喬治回答：“喔!當(dāng)然有，典獄長(zhǎng)，只不過(guò)他們?nèi)荚谶@里面!”
一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話篇四
Heart Transplant 心臟移植
A man has a heart attack and is brought to thehospital ER.
有一名男子患有心贓病，被送往醫(yī)院急診室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.
醫(yī)生告訴他，除非他立刻接受心臟移植，否則他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,
另外一名，醫(yī)生跑進(jìn)急診室說(shuō)：
"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one youwant.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."
“你真幸運(yùn)，剛好有兩個(gè)心臟可移植，所以你要選擇你要哪一個(gè)心臟。一個(gè)是屬于律師，另一個(gè)是屬于社會(huì)工作者。”
The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."
這名男子很快響應(yīng)說(shuō)：“律師的。”
The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make yourdecision?"
醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“等等!你不想在你做決定之前了解一下他們嗎?”
The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts andthe attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"
這名男子說(shuō)：“我已經(jīng)知道夠了。大家都知道社會(huì)工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心臟，而律師的心臟可能從來(lái)都不曾用過(guò)他的。所以我選擇律師的心臟。"
一分鐘左右英語(yǔ)小笑話篇五
guardian angle 守護(hù)天使
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的時(shí)候聽(tīng)到一個(gè)聲音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要?jiǎng)映蚩诠阍僮咭徊?，就?huì)有一個(gè)磚塊掉到你的頭上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
這名男子停住了，一個(gè)大磚塊就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
這名男子非常驚訝。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他繼續(xù)向前走：不久后，他要穿越馬路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那個(gè)聲音再次叫說(shuō)：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要?jiǎng)?，如果你再走一步，就?huì)有一輛汽車輾過(guò)你，你就會(huì)死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
這名男子因?yàn)樵恢甘具^(guò)，所以就照著做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此時(shí)正好有一輛汽車左搖右晃地沖過(guò)轉(zhuǎn)角處，差一點(diǎn)撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
這名男子問(wèn)說(shuō)：“你在哪里?你是誰(shuí)?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
這個(gè)聲音回答說(shuō)：“我是你的守護(hù)天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
這名男子問(wèn)說(shuō)：“喔，是嗎?那我結(jié)婚的時(shí)候：你死到哪里去了?”
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