爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話要長(zhǎng)的
爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話要長(zhǎng)的
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔?。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑的長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑的長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
有個(gè)人去牙買(mǎi)加度假，
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之后的第二天去找他。
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
他到了賓館，想要給妻子發(fā)封郵件，
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
但是記著郵箱的紙找不到了，于是他憑著記憶把信發(fā)到了一個(gè)郵箱。
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
很不幸，他漏掉了一個(gè)字母，因此他的信發(fā)到了一個(gè)老傳教士的妻子的郵箱里，而傳教士恰好在前一天去世了。
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
悲痛的老婦人察看郵箱，看著顯示器屏幕她尖叫一聲，隨后就倒在地上死去了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
聽(tīng)到她的聲音，家人趕忙跑進(jìn)她的房間，只見(jiàn)這樣一句話顯示在屏幕上：“親愛(ài)的，快來(lái)吧。為了你明天的到來(lái)，一切都準(zhǔn)備好了。愛(ài)你的丈夫。
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
順便說(shuō)一句，這里可真夠熱的。”
爆笑的長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
一個(gè)漆黑的夜晚，兩個(gè)小伙子參加完聚會(huì)，決定抄近路穿過(guò)一片墳地走回家。
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving. There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows.
走到墳地的中間，從陰暗處傳出來(lái)恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”聲音，嚇得他們?cè)僖沧卟粍?dòng)了。
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
渾身顫抖著，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)有個(gè)老人正拿著榔頭和鑿子鑿一塊墓碑。
"Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath.
“噢，主啊，”其中一個(gè)屏住呼吸說(shuō)，
“You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
“你嚇?biāo)牢覀兞?，我們還以為你是鬼了。這么晚了你在這干什么呢?”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
“這些傻瓜!”老人抱怨說(shuō)，“他們拼錯(cuò)了我的名字!”
爆笑的長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently.
有一次我走進(jìn)一家快餐店，
I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries.
被一個(gè)標(biāo)志牌吸引了，上面寫(xiě)著“無(wú)油薯?xiàng)l”。
I decided to give them a try.
我打算嘗嘗，
I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were dripping with fat.
但是看到服務(wù)員從鍋里撈出的一籃薯?xiàng)l沾滿了油，真是嚇了我一大跳。
He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
他給我裝了一袋，賬單上顯示出價(jià)錢(qián)。
"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes.... The fat is free!"
“等會(huì)兒，”我說(shuō)，“這不是無(wú)油的?”“是的，我們只對(duì)薯?xiàng)l收費(fèi)，油是免費(fèi)的!”
爆笑的長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.
三個(gè)信奉天主教的婦女和一個(gè)猶太老婦人在一起喝咖啡。
The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a priest.When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".
第一個(gè)婦女對(duì)她的朋友們說(shuō)，“我兒子是一個(gè)牧師。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間，人們總是稱(chēng)呼他神父”。
The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop.Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".
第二個(gè)婦女唧唧喳喳地說(shuō)：“我的兒子是一名主教。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時(shí)，人們都尊稱(chēng)他大人”。
The third woman says, "My son is a cardinal.Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".
第三個(gè)婦女說(shuō)：“我的兒子是一名紅衣主教。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時(shí)，人們都恭敬地稱(chēng)他閣下”。
As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.
這時(shí)那位身材瘦小的猶太老婦人默默地喝著她的咖啡，那三個(gè)婦女一起用微妙的眼神看著她，
So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.
意思是：“你兒子呢?” 于是她說(shuō)，“我兒子身高六英尺五英寸，肩膀?qū)掗?，肌肉發(fā)達(dá)，他長(zhǎng)得非常英俊。
He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells wonderful.Whenever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'
他的頭發(fā)很漂亮，衣著講究，而且身上總是散發(fā)著一股令人心曠神怡的芳香。每當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房間時(shí)，女人們都會(huì)說(shuō)，“哦，我的上帝呀!”
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