好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話
英語(yǔ)笑話作為良好的英語(yǔ)教學(xué)素材應(yīng)該可以被廣泛的運(yùn)用到英語(yǔ)教學(xué)中。本文是好笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
好笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
A Match Made in Heaven
On their way to get married, a loving couple get into car accident that proves fatal. The couple is sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to finish the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter replies, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.
The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"
好笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Partners with God 與上帝為伍
A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse1 is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing2 all around.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Look and behold3. It's like a completely different place -- the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock4 happily munching5 on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished6 together!"
"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
一個(gè)農(nóng)民買了一塊破舊、荒廢的農(nóng)場(chǎng)，他計(jì)劃著把農(nóng)場(chǎng)改造成一座欣欣向榮的園林。農(nóng)場(chǎng)目前的狀況是雜草遍布，房屋破舊不堪，四周的籬笆也東倒西歪。
在他著手改造的第一天，一個(gè)城里的傳教士停下來(lái)祝福他：“愿上帝與你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)你的夢(mèng)想!”
過(guò)了幾個(gè)月，那個(gè)傳教士又一次來(lái)拜訪農(nóng)民。駐足觀看，這里發(fā)生了天翻地覆的變化：房屋重新被整修過(guò)，條件也優(yōu)于從前，成群的牛羊正在歡快地吃著青草，地里的莊稼也成排地生長(zhǎng)著。“太不可思議了，”傳教士驚呼道，“看啊，上帝和你一起實(shí)現(xiàn)了你的夢(mèng)想!”
“是的，教士，”那個(gè)農(nóng)民說(shuō)道：“可你別忘了，當(dāng)初這個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)只由上帝一人管理時(shí)是個(gè)什么樣子!”
好笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Pope in Heaven 天堂里的教皇
The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says. "Glad to see you, we've got your place all ready." Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.
The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope isastounded to see a 45-room mansion, with built-in sauna and weight-room, a beautiful library, and spacious, airy rooms.
After lunch, the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cottage while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion."
St. Peter replied, "Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer."
教皇去世后，就來(lái)到了天堂。圣彼得問(wèn)候他：“見(jiàn)到你很高興，一切都已經(jīng)安排就緒。”隨后，圣彼得帶著他走到街上，看了看教皇的新房子。那是一棟小巧而舒適的別墅，一共有五個(gè)房間。圣彼得建議教皇先安頓下來(lái)，然后再四處去拜訪其他的居民。
在這里，教皇不僅與許多老朋友重逢了，而且還認(rèn)識(shí)了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律師，邀請(qǐng)教皇到家里吃午飯。到律師家后，教皇頓時(shí)驚呆了!那是一棟有45個(gè)房間的大廈，有桑拿間、健身房、漂亮的圖書(shū)館以及寬敞明亮的房間。
午飯后，教皇碰巧在街上又看到了圣彼得，便上前問(wèn)道：“我可不是發(fā)牢騷啊!為什么我只能得到一個(gè)小別墅，而那個(gè)律師卻有那么豪華的大廈?”
圣彼得回答說(shuō)：“你看，我們這里到處都是教皇，可律師卻只有他一個(gè)。”
好笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
I Pity the Prosecutor!
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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