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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語 > 英語閱讀 > 英語笑話 > 關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話精選

關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話精選

時間: 韋彥867 分享

關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話精選

  笑話不僅能夠折射出社會生活中的方方面面,而且,笑話可以在說笑中蘊含著人們對于美好生活的期盼和訴求。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話,希望可以幫助大家!

  關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話:Some Improvements in Hell

  An engineer died and ended up in Hell. Soon, he became dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, they had flush toilets, air conditioning, escalators. The engineer was a pretty popular guy.

  One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"

  Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

  God exclaimed, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake--he should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."

  "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

  God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"

  Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

  關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話:Bulletin Bloopers

  1. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

  2. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

  3. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break ForthInto Joy."

  4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

  5. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

  關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話:Sister, Got Milk?

  There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890's whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her.

  However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day.

  Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.

  "Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"

  關(guān)于搞笑的英語笑話:Jesus Tackles The Drug

  Jesus and his disciples are sitting around a table discussing the current problem of drugs in todays society, when Jesus decides that the only way to get an understanding of the problem is to actually try the drugs for themselves. So Jesus sends his disciples out to the four corners of the earth to bring back a variety of narcotics for testing.

  Several weeks later the first disciple arrives back. There's a knock on the door.

  "Peter, you have returned and what have you brought for us."

  "My Lord! from Morrocco I have brought some Hash."

  "We'll done Peter."

  Another knock on the door.

  "Simon, what have you brought back from your travels?"

  "My Lord! I have brought some Marijuana from the rain forests of Brazil."

  Another knock on the door.

  "John, what have you brought?"

  "My Lord! I have brought cocaine from Columbia"

  Another knock on the door.

  "James! what have you brought?"

  "My Lord! from the mountains of Nepal I've brouht heroin."

  Another knock on the door.

  "Mathew, what have you brought?"

  "My Lord! from New York city I have brought some crack."

  Then finally there's a knock on the door and Judas arrives. And Jesus asks?

  Judas what have you brought?

  "The FBI motherfuckers, this is a bust."

  
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