最經(jīng)典的英語笑話欣賞
最經(jīng)典的英語笑話欣賞
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說過,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。小編精心收集了最經(jīng)典的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
最經(jīng)典的英語笑話篇1
At Least You Get a Choice
至少你有所選擇
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
一名罪人去世后，剛下地獄就被帶往各處走走。
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get yourchoice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
“我將告訴你這里的狀況，”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必須在三種刑罰中選一個，這是第一種。”
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boilingwater.
罪人看見男男女女反復(fù)地被浸入沸騰的熱水中，嚇得目瞪口呆。
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“再看第二種。”可憐的罪人看到一些不幸的人被兇惡的野獸和殘酷的妖怪不停地追趕，嚇得直打哆嗦。
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.
“這是第三種。”一群人站在深及膝部的糞池中喝茶。
"Well,this seems all right," said the sinner."I'll take this one."And he joined the group.
“這個看來還可以，我就選這個。”罪人說著便加入了那群犯人。
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out："OK, tea time's over. Get back onyour heads. "
就在他加入不久，一個魔鬼大聲喊道：“午茶時間結(jié)束，回到頭下腳上倒立的姿勢。”
最經(jīng)典的英語笑話篇2
Play Now Pay Later
先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜歡到世界各地探險(xiǎn)，和許多妓女風(fēng)流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more thanfond memories.
但在香港，他終于遇到一名職業(yè)神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他請教了一名英國醫(yī)生。
"Good Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊!”醫(yī)生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本醫(yī)學(xué)教科書還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國?？漆t(yī)師幫忙，但那名?？漆t(yī)師表情凝重地?fù)u頭說：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“對不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名風(fēng)流公子走投無路，便向一位中醫(yī)請教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細(xì)檢查病人后煞有介事地點(diǎn)頭說道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很嚴(yán)重，你現(xiàn)在的病情也很嚴(yán)重。
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off... "
“大夫，英國和美國的醫(yī)生都說我的東西必須要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“這些西醫(yī)所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大筆錢。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用動外科手術(shù)?!”年輕人喜出望外地問道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“別擔(dān)心，”老中醫(yī)師說：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個星期后，那活兒會自己掉下來。”
最經(jīng)典的英語笑話篇3
Down on the Farm
農(nóng)場趣談
The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse,
一位農(nóng)夫正在漆他茅房內(nèi)的墻壁，
when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.
一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑內(nèi)。
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.
“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。
Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,
不久消防隊(duì)趕來了，一位消防人員彎下身來問：
"Where's the fire?"
“哪里失火了呢?”
"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,
“事實(shí)上并未失火，”農(nóng)夫說，
"but would you have come if I'd yelled "Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "
“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!你們會趕來嗎?”
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