小學(xué)英語(yǔ)小笑話一分鐘
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,伴隨著網(wǎng)絡(luò)的普及它已經(jīng)滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕松愉悅,也能展示交談?wù)叩挠哪椭腔邸W(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了小學(xué)一分鐘英語(yǔ)小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
小學(xué)一分鐘英語(yǔ)小笑話篇一
哲學(xué)課一則
Why worry?
何必憂慮呢?
Really, you have only two things:to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有兩件事要擔(dān)心，你不是會(huì)生病就是身體健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about.
如果你身體健康，那么就沒(méi)什么好擔(dān)心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的話，只要擔(dān)憂兩件事，你不是康復(fù)就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about.
如果你康復(fù)的話，什么也不必?fù)?dān)心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go tohell.
如果不幸死亡的話，你只要擔(dān)心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about.
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你擔(dān)憂。
and if you go to hell,you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time toworry !
要是下地獄的話，你會(huì)忙著和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔(dān)憂事情的時(shí)間都沒(méi)有!
小學(xué)一分鐘英語(yǔ)小笑話篇二
哇!那個(gè)真是大得嚇人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位觀光客走進(jìn)一家德州酒店點(diǎn)了一杯威士忌，酒保競(jìng)給他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.
“這是什么呢?”觀光客問(wèn)道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你點(diǎn)的酒，難道你不知道德州每樣?xùn)|西都大得嚇人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那時(shí)剛好有一只穿山甲跑過(guò)酒店門(mén)口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么東西?’觀光客又問(wèn)。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，觀光客感到腹脹頭昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom.
他問(wèn)哪里有洗手間。
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告訴他下樓后右轉(zhuǎn)，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但觀光客卻向左轉(zhuǎn)，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保聽(tīng)到水聲跑出去看個(gè)究竟。
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don't flush the toilet ! "
剛把頭伸進(jìn)門(mén)就聽(tīng)到觀光客大叫，“不要按動(dòng)馬桶沖水喲!
小學(xué)一分鐘英語(yǔ)小笑話篇三
不費(fèi)吹灰之力!
There were four passengers in the small aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; abusinessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飛越安第斯山脈的小飛機(jī)上坐著四名乘客：一名商人，一名發(fā)明家，一位神父和一個(gè)靠預(yù)算過(guò)日子、看起來(lái)懶懶散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane isgoing down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，駕駛員走進(jìn)艙告訴他們可怕的消息：“各位先生，這架飛機(jī)正失控下降中，我要設(shè)法迫降，但你們必須先跳下飛機(jī)。”
Naturally, the men were horrified and even more so when they discovered that there were onlythree parachutes.
當(dāng)然，那幾個(gè)人都嚇得目瞪口呆，尤其是當(dāng)他們發(fā)現(xiàn)只有三個(gè)降落傘可以使用時(shí)，更是心驚膽戰(zhàn)。
The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of theirfamilies depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on aparachute and leaped.
那名商人說(shuō)道：“各位先生，我雇用好幾千名員工，他們都要靠我養(yǎng)家活口，我想你們都同意我必須活著回去。”說(shuō)著他便穿上一具降落傘跳出飛機(jī)去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. Myinventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yetdo. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接著發(fā)明家站了起來(lái)，調(diào)整了肩帶說(shuō)道：“我是世界上最聰明的人，我的發(fā)明改變了成千上萬(wàn)人的生活。我還會(huì)對(duì)大眾造多少福難以估計(jì)。再見(jiàn)了，各位!”他也跟著跳出機(jī)艙。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan ofGod, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平氣和，中斷禱告，對(duì)旅行者說(shuō)道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我對(duì)死并不畏懼，剩下的降落傘你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world justjumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我們還有兩個(gè)降落傘。那個(gè)自稱(chēng)世界上最聰明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
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