英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)匯總

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)是指以一句英文短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)英文故事讓說(shuō)話(huà)者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑,或是產(chǎn)生幽默感,笑話(huà)是一種經(jīng)過(guò)藝術(shù)加工的語(yǔ)言形式,是藝術(shù)化的語(yǔ)言,笑話(huà)是一種藝術(shù)方法。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)一：我是單身漢

　　Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.

　　杰克騎車(chē)摔傷，去醫(yī)院治療。一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填。 杰克填好后遞上表格。

　　"Anything else?"The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "l'm a bachelor."

　　“還有什么漏填的?”護(hù)士問(wèn)。“有!”杰克想了想說(shuō)，“我是個(gè)單身漢。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)二：狗住旅店

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　有個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫(xiě)了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒(méi)偷過(guò)毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫(huà)。我也從沒(méi)有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來(lái)我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來(lái)。

　　e were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

　　“媽媽?zhuān)也幌矚g，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)3加3得6, 可后來(lái)又說(shuō)2加4也得6。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)三：Part-time Job業(yè)余工作

　　When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

　　"How was your first day?" I asked.

　　"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

　　Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

　　"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

　　我兒子在一所中學(xué)讀二年級(jí)時(shí)，在一家超級(jí)市場(chǎng)找到了一份包裝商品的業(yè)余工作。他滿(mǎn)面笑容地回到了家。

　　“第一天感覺(jué)如何?”我問(wèn)。

　　“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話(huà)。”

　　由于斯蒂芬不善言談，我問(wèn)道：“你跟他們說(shuō)了些什么?”

　　“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)四：Who Discovered Australia?誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

　　Johnny: It's there, sir.

　　Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

　　Sammy: Johnny, sir.

　　老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什么地方。

　　約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

　　老師：對(duì)了。薩默，你來(lái)回答我是誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞?

　　薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)五：Quick Cleanup快速清掃

　　Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

　　不速之客就在路上，我媽媽?zhuān)粋€(gè)完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務(wù)是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會(huì)兒之后，當(dāng)她去檢查的時(shí)候，她吃驚了，曾經(jīng)一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫(xiě)著：“謝謝你沒(méi)往浴缸里看。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話(huà)六：Christmas Eve Service平安夜禮拜

　　Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"

　　就在我開(kāi)始平安夜禱告時(shí)，教堂停電了。教堂里的接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周?chē)?。然后我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記后，我說(shuō)：“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來(lái)一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”