英文爆笑笑話六篇

　　英語(yǔ)笑話是指以一句英文短語(yǔ)或一個(gè)英文故事讓說(shuō)話者和聽(tīng)者之間覺(jué)得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，笑話是一種經(jīng)過(guò)藝術(shù)加工的語(yǔ)言形式，是藝術(shù)化的語(yǔ)言，笑話是一種藝術(shù)方法。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話6篇，以供大家閱讀。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話一：Two roaches 兩只蟑螂

　　Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

　　兩只蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃著，其中的一只談起了它在一家新開(kāi)張的餐館里的經(jīng)歷。“那時(shí)我在街對(duì)面的那家新餐館里，”它說(shuō)。“那里太干凈了!廚房沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)污漬，地面閃著白光。任何地方都沒(méi)有垃圾。那里是如此干凈，整個(gè)地方都在發(fā)光。”“請(qǐng)不要在我吃東西的時(shí)候說(shuō)這個(gè)好嗎?”另一只蟑螂不悅地說(shuō)。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話二：我需要器官移植

　　The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

　　這個(gè)病人顯得很堅(jiān)決。“醫(yī)生，我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和……” “你為什么認(rèn)為你需要做這么多移植手術(shù)?”病人回答：“哦，是這樣，我的老板說(shuō)如果我這個(gè)人不重新組裝的話，就別想保住我的工作!”

英文爆笑笑話

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話三：埋在花園里的槍

　　Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

　　一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛(ài)爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫(xiě)信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說(shuō)道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬(wàn)不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒(méi)有找到任何槍支。” 老人寫(xiě)信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問(wèn)到底發(fā)生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。 兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話四：Coins in American Currency 美國(guó)的硬幣

　　There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).

　　Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.

　　Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.

　　One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬幣是按下列幣值鑄造的：一美分，五美分，十美分，二十五美分，五十美分。

　　硬幣也叫"零錢(qián)"，"小錢(qián)"，或"銀幣"，雖然它們不再是用銀子鑄成的?？偟恼f(shuō)來(lái)，硬幣是通過(guò)大小來(lái)識(shí)別的，但總有人把十美分搞錯(cuò)，它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按幣值的大小順序排列。

　　還有一點(diǎn)要說(shuō)明：你不能伸出手，托出一把紙幣和硬幣而希望別人從你那里拿走數(shù)目正確的零錢(qián)。這在任何西方國(guó)家都是不好的。

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話五：Now We Run 現(xiàn)在我們跑吧

　　A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

　　一個(gè)牧師正沿著街走路，這時(shí)他看到街對(duì)面有個(gè)小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門(mén)鈴。但這個(gè)小孩太小了，門(mén)鈴又高，他夠不著?？吹侥莻€(gè)小男孩費(fèi)了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優(yōu)雅地穿過(guò)馬路，走到小家伙的背后，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門(mén)鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問(wèn)道：“接下來(lái)怎么辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說(shuō)：“接下來(lái)我們跑。”

　　英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話六：We Left Nothing 我們什么也沒(méi)留下

　　Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She

　　locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman

　　on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."

　　When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

　　"THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"

　　布朗太太要外出一天。 她鎖好了房門(mén)，在門(mén)上給送牛奶的人釘了一張便條：“家里沒(méi)人，請(qǐng)不要留下任何東西!” 她當(dāng)天晚上回家后發(fā)現(xiàn)房間門(mén)被撞開(kāi)，房子被洗劫一空。在她留給送奶人的便條上，她發(fā)現(xiàn)被補(bǔ)充了一句：“謝謝!我們什么也沒(méi)留下!”