學(xué)習(xí)啦小編給大家?guī)砹擞⒄Z搞笑笑話6篇讓你開心快樂每一天!

　　英語搞笑笑話篇一：Lose One Pound減掉一磅

　　I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"

　　我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”

　　一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這么長時間才減了1磅?”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇二：The doctor lives downstairs醫(yī)生住在樓下

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什么病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇三：它們是從美國直接帶來的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇四：電腦問題

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　我在惠普公司打印機(jī)部做技術(shù)支持工作已經(jīng)有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機(jī)不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因為三原色就是藍(lán)、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅(qū)動程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機(jī)寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應(yīng)該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇五：死后重生

　　"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

　　“你相信人能死后重生嗎?”老板問他的一個員工。 “我相信，先生”。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 “哦，那還好”。老板接著說。 “你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后，她老人家到這兒看你來了。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇六：精神病醫(yī)生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫(yī)生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉?，F(xiàn)在那沒人了!”