英語幽默笑話集錦

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的英語幽默笑話集錦，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語幽默笑話集錦及翻譯一：

　　The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　英語幽默笑話集錦及翻譯二：

　　When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for　　a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and number of people.

　　" Do you take children?" the man asked.

　　"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."

　　英語幽默笑話集錦及翻譯三：

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

　　我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴(yán)厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”

　　英語幽默笑話集錦四：

　　What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."

　　我是來裝電話的一個(gè)年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個(gè)漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個(gè)人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個(gè)大數(shù)字，好像在談一筆大買賣。到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個(gè)人回答，“我是來給你安裝電話的。”

　　英語幽默笑話集錦五：

　　Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."

　　"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.

　　"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

　　麥克上學(xué)遲到了。他對(duì)布萊克老師說：“對(duì)不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因?yàn)槲以趬衾镉^看了一場球賽。”

　　“為什么它會(huì)讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。

　　“因?yàn)檫@兩個(gè)隊(duì)都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續(xù)的時(shí)間長了。”麥克回答說。