趣味英語笑話

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的趣味英語笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　趣味英語笑話：《律師、寶馬和胳膊》

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　一個律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。

　　“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”

　　律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”

　　趣味英語笑話：The New Teacher

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問

　　I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

　　“媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。”

　　趣味英語笑話：The Fish Net

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問道。

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　　“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道。

　　趣味英語笑話：A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那里，他看見有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對此他感到不解，于是他問該店的老板，老板回答說：“這只鸚鵡受過特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

　　這個好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎么樣呢?”

　　“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說。

　　趣味英語笑話：Not so fast 別那么急嘛

　　A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.

　　Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

　　"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"

　　"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

　　一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。

　　在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。

　　“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”

　　“著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”

　　趣味英語笑話：The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛

　　A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"

　　一個鄉(xiāng)下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃?；瘘c著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發(fā)出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子聽到了蝸牛發(fā)出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢?”

　　趣味英語笑話：Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一個小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚的事情。

　　她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構(gòu)造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。”

　　那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。

　　她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。”

　　那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”

　　她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”

　　那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”

　　趣味英語笑話：A Duel 決斗

　　Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

　　It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

　　"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

　　"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

　　小彼得從操場回到家時，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。

　　顯然他剛與人惡斗了一番，而且打輸了。父親問兒子發(fā)生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說，我向拉里挑起決斗，而且我讓他挑選武器。”

　　“嗯，”父親說，“這看上去很公平!”

　　“我知道，但我沒想到他選擇了他姐姐!”

　　趣味英語笑話：Neither 都不是

　　It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.

　　At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"

　　"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."

　　正值當?shù)馗傔x時期，候選人到他的區(qū)域的千家萬戶登門拜訪。

　　候選人來到了一家門口，一個小男孩開了門。“告訴我，年輕人，”候選人問道，“你母親是在共和黨還是在民主黨?”

　　“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”