英語簡短笑話大全爆笑欣賞
笑話不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我們工作學習之余緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。小編精心收集了簡短爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
簡短爆笑英語笑話篇1
Contented Married Life
令人滿意的婚姻生活
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."
一個男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。”
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"
“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
“嗯，”那個人回答說：“她決定我申請什么工作，我們住什么房子，買什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問題。”
簡短爆笑英語笑話篇2
A Nail Or A Fly?
釘子還是蒼蠅?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of winein each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung themon, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor.
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在墻上有只蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。
When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him anddecided to do him a favour.
一個女服務員發(fā)現(xiàn)發(fā)生的事情以后，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nailexactly where the fly had stayed.
于是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident.When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adnslapped it with all his strength.
這里，老人回到了房里。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往墻上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。
On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor oldman was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
簡短爆笑英語笑話篇3
Very stupid robbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens.Jump!"
兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說：“我聽到警報響了，快跳吧!”
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is notime to be superstitious!"
第二個說：“但是我們現(xiàn)在在第13層啊!”第一個尖叫著回敬他：“都什么時候了，還這么迷信!”
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