外國(guó)趣味幽默故事三則

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)趣味幽默故事，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：天堂里的教皇

　　The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad to see you; we've got your place all ready.” Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.

　　教皇死后升人了天堂。圣彼得向他問(wèn)候:“見(jiàn)到你很高興，我們一切都已經(jīng)為您安排好了。然后圣彼得把教皇帶到街上領(lǐng)他去看新房子。一棟有五間房子的小巧舒適的別墅。圣彼得建議教皇住下來(lái)，然后再去四處看看其他的居民。

　　The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45一room mansion, with built一in sauna and weight room, a beautiful library, and spacious，airy rooms.

　　教皇在這里不僅遇到了許多老朋友，而且還結(jié)交了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律師請(qǐng)教皇吃飯，等到了他家，教皇一下子驚呆了，那是一棟有45間房的大廈，里面還有桑拿間、健身房、漂亮的圖書(shū)館、寬敞明亮的房間。

　　After lunch，the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cot while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion.

　　午飯后，教皇在街上又遇到了圣彼得，于是問(wèn)道:“我可不是抱怨啊!為什么只給我一個(gè)小別墅而那個(gè)律師卻有那么豪華的大廈?”

　　St. Peter replied，Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”

　　圣彼得回答說(shuō):“你看，我們這里有很多位教皇，而律師卻只有他一人。”

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：惡作劇

　　Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:

　　有一天晚上，我針對(duì)一個(gè)自己討厭的人所做的事情簡(jiǎn)直是妙極了:

　　I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.

　　我看到他正和一個(gè)情人坐在飯館里的一個(gè)不被人注意的角落里。我走到領(lǐng)班跟前對(duì)他說(shuō):為了慶祝我的朋友和妻子結(jié)婚十周年，我想讓他給那兩個(gè)人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。

　　If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.

　　在像柏里甘思這樣的地方，當(dāng)男女服務(wù)員給你的桌子上送蛋糕時(shí)他們介一邊唱歌一邊敲打著水壺。你可以想象接下來(lái)會(huì)發(fā)生什么。

　　Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.

　　四個(gè)男服務(wù)員和三個(gè)女服務(wù)員手里端著插有蠟燭的蛋糕，一邊走一邊唱“凱茹樂(lè)，馬克，祝你們周年快樂(lè)。”

　　Talk about someone looking for the exits!

　　現(xiàn)在正有人忙著找出去的門(mén)呢!

　　外國(guó)趣味幽默故事：混亂的藥方

　　This is a true story, which happened to me. For a while, I worked as a cashier at a local drugstore. Well, one afternoon, while I was working at the drug counter，a woman came in and dropped off 3 prescriptions to be filled. Later, she came back, and wanted to pick up the prescriptions. Two of the prescriptions were ready, with the third stapled to the bag. The pharmacist had already told me about this one.

　　這是我曾經(jīng)歷過(guò)的一個(gè)真實(shí)的故事，那時(shí)我在本地的一家藥店做收銀員。一天下午，我正在柜臺(tái)里工作，一個(gè)婦女走了進(jìn)來(lái)給了我三個(gè)處方箋，要配三服藥。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒她回來(lái)取藥，看到只配好了兩個(gè)處方的藥，而第三個(gè)處方卻只是訂在藥袋上。藥劑師已經(jīng)告訴了我其中的原因。

　　"Here you go, we were only able to fill two of the prescriptions,” I said.

　　“給您，我們只能給您配這兩服藥。”我說(shuō)。

　　"Why can’t you fill the other one?" she said.

　　“為什么不配那服藥?”她問(wèn)。

　　"I' m sorry, we don't carry that one,” I said.

　　“很抱歉我們這沒(méi)有。”我答道。

　　"Well，can you order it?"

　　“你們可以定購(gòu)嗎?”

　　"No.”

　　“不行。”

　　"Well where can I get it filled?"

　　“那我到哪兒才能配到這服藥?”

　　"I'm afraid you will have to go to the hospital to get it filled.”

　　“恐怕你得去醫(yī)院了。”

　　"Why? What's it for?"

　　“為什么?你什么意思?”

　　"A chest X一ray.”

　　“這個(gè)處方寫(xiě)的是去醫(yī)院做胸透。”