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少兒經(jīng)典簡(jiǎn)單的英語小笑話

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  粉紅色西瓜Watermelon

  A fruit vendor in Philippines sold a watermelon to a woman and assured her that it was very sweet because it was red inside.

  在菲律賓。 一個(gè)女人從一個(gè)水果商那里買了一個(gè)西瓜,水果商向她保證這個(gè)西瓜非常甜,因?yàn)槭羌t瓤的。

  As she rode home on a bicycle, the vehicle skidded and the watermelon fell to the street and broke open, the woman was surprised to see that the fruit was pale pink but not red. So she returned with it to the vendor and complained loudly. “Madam,” replied the vendor, “when one falls out of a vehicle to the street, one can expect to turn pale. How about a watermelon?”

  當(dāng)這個(gè)女人騎車回家時(shí),西瓜在剎車時(shí)掉在地上摔裂了,女人吃驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)西瓜不是紅瓤地,而是淺粉色地。 于是她返回去找水果商理論。 “夫人。 ”水果商回答,“如果一個(gè)人從車子上摔倒在地上,也會(huì)嚇得臉色發(fā)白。 更何況是西瓜呢?”

  當(dāng)敵兵襲擊你時(shí)

  The first sergeant was holding a class on combat for his company. He said,“Jose, what would you do if you saw 700 enemy soldiers coming at you?”

  警官正在給他的連隊(duì)上一堂戰(zhàn)斗課,他問:“約瑟,假如你看到有700名敵兵正朝你沖過來,你會(huì)怎么辦?“

  Jose said,“I would shoot them all with my rifle.”

  約瑟說:“我會(huì)用我的槍打死他們。”

  The sergeant asked,“On the fight you see 400 enemy soldiers charging at you. What would you do?”

  警官問:“你看到你的右方有400名敵兵正向你撲過來,你會(huì)怎么辦?”

  Jose said,“I would shoot them with my rifle.”

  約瑟說:“我會(huì)用我的槍打死他們。”

  The sergeant continued, “Okay! On your left, Jose, you notice 1,000 enemy soldiers heading straight at you. What would you do?”

  警官繼續(xù)說:“很好,約瑟,你注意到你的左方有1,000名敵兵正直沖你奔來,你會(huì)怎么辦?”

  Jose answered.“I would shoot them all with my rifle.”

  約瑟又回答:“我會(huì)用我的槍打死他們。”

  The sergeant yelled,“Just a minute, Jose. Where are you getting all those bullets?”

  警官大叫:“稍等,約瑟,你是從哪里得到這些子彈的?”

  The soldier smiled and said, “Where are you getting all those enemy soldiers in the same place?”

  士兵笑了笑,說道:“您在同一個(gè)地方從哪里把這些敵兵調(diào)集來的呢?”

  他懂了He Understood

  Two Americans were traveling in Spain.

  兩個(gè)美國(guó)人在西班牙旅游。

  One morning they came into a little restaurant for lunch. They did not know Spanish, and their waiter did not know English. They wanted him to understand that they wanted some milk and sandwiches

  .一天上午,他們走進(jìn)一家小餐館吃午飯。他們不會(huì)說西班牙語,侍者也不會(huì)說英語。他們想讓侍者知道他們想要點(diǎn)一些牛奶和三明治。

  At first they pronounced the word “milk” many times. Then they spelled it. But the waiter could not understand them.

  起初,他們說了好多次“牛奶”,接著又寫了下來,而侍者還是不明白他們說的是什么。

  At last one of them took a piece of paper and began to draw a cow. He was finishing xiaogushi8.com his drawing, when the waiter looked at it and ran out of the restaurant. “Do you see,” said one of the travelers, “what a pencil can do for a man who has difficulties in a foreign country?”

  最后,其中一個(gè)人拿出一張紙,畫了一頭牛。畫完后,侍者看了一眼,便跑了出去。“看到了吧,”其中的一個(gè)人說道,“一支鉛筆對(duì)一個(gè)身在國(guó)外并遇到困難的人來說是多么重要!”

  The waiter was back again some time after, but he brought no milk.

  不一會(huì)兒,侍者回來了,不過拿的卻不是牛奶。

  He put down in front of the two men tickets for a bullfight.

  他在這兩個(gè)人面前放了兩張斗牛的表演票。


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