分手后照片短信刪不刪
分手后照片短信刪不刪
摘要:分手后,你身邊多了一堆幾乎能丟棄到閣樓的東西:手機(jī)上、電腦上、郵箱里,到處都是它們的身影。它們?cè)?jīng)是對(duì)你而言很重要的東西,現(xiàn)在依舊是。它們是能勾起你眼淚的東西,也是你曾愛過的東西。你該拿它們?cè)趺崔k?
After the split, you're left with an abandoned attic'sworth of stuff: on your phone and hard drive, in your inbox. It's stuff that used to matter, andstill does. It's stuff that hurts. It's stuff you loved. What do you do with it?
It's impossible to plow through a committed relationship in an industrialized nation withoutpiling up an abundant digital record. You'll have chat transcripts, tagged photos on Facebook,beautiful photos from a DSLR, email letters, Skype call screenshots, texts—so, so many texts.Your first instinct will be to throw it all away。
分手后,你身邊多了一堆幾乎能丟棄到閣樓的東西:手機(jī)上、電腦上、郵箱里,到處都是它們的身影。它們?cè)?jīng)是對(duì)你而言很重要的東西,現(xiàn)在依舊是。它們是能勾起你眼淚的東西,也是你曾愛過的東西。你該拿它們?cè)趺崔k?
在這個(gè)發(fā)達(dá)的工業(yè)化國(guó)家,一段認(rèn)真的感情結(jié)束后必然會(huì)留下大量的數(shù)字記錄。你們的聊天記錄、Facebook上標(biāo)著名字的合影、數(shù)碼相機(jī)里的美麗合照、郵件往來、Skype網(wǎng)絡(luò)電話的截圖、手機(jī)短信……大量的手機(jī)短信。你的第一想法肯定是把它們?nèi)庸?、刪光吧。
That's not a reflex to be ashamed of—just like you wouldn't want to stare at a framed photo ofyour ex while you're hurting, you don't want to look at hundreds of messages and JPEGsdetailing that person either. We're all hypersensitive when it happens, and we're living in an ageof hyper-info. There are more grains of salt to catch in your heart wound than ever before. Thisisn't easy—but let's try。
分手后照片短信刪不刪
有這種想法不必羞愧。當(dāng)你正在傷心的時(shí)候,不想看到那個(gè)前任的照片;抑或是不想看到跟ta之間的數(shù)百條短信、各種親密照一樣,這些都可以理解。分手后我們都會(huì)變得極度敏感,尤其身處這個(gè)充斥著過度信息的時(shí)代。對(duì)于我們來講,心上的傷口會(huì)被灑更多的鹽巴。這不是件容易事兒。但是讓我們來試著應(yīng)對(duì)吧。
Wait
等待
Wait a month. Wait longer. Wait until you can look at his or her Facebook profile without feelingsomething bad in your chest, or the urge to throw your laptop. No good decision, in thiscentury or any other, has ever been made in the fresh wake of a breakup. Please, please don'tthrow your laptop。
等一個(gè)月,或更久。直到你可以坦然直視ta的Facebook主頁而不會(huì)感到陣陣心痛,或有種直接想扔了筆記本的沖動(dòng)。從古到今,沒有什么正確的決定是在剛分手的時(shí)候做出的。請(qǐng)千萬遏制住那種沖動(dòng),別扔了筆記本。
Photos
照片
Don't delete these. Really, don't. You'll regret it if you do. Not because maybe someday you'llget back together and be so glad you kept it all. You probably won't. But these pictures aren'tjust small monuments to a failed romance, they're high-resolution instants from your life,recorded forever, unfading. It's not just your ex's smile that you miss and wish you couldhave back, it's the way you were at a particular moment a shutter snapped and a digitalsensor touched light. It's your dog, your apartment, your haircut, your vacation, your job,your old bike—everything that was you for that moment, regardless of who you were datingand who you loved. This is matter you'll want years and decades from now—don't be rash andtrash it。
別刪了它們。真的別這樣做,否則你會(huì)后悔的。并不是說以后你們還有復(fù)合的可能,到時(shí)候你就會(huì)慶幸沒有刪了它們,因?yàn)槟銈兒芸赡懿粫?huì)復(fù)合了;而是因?yàn)檫@些照片不僅是一段失敗戀情的紀(jì)念,同時(shí)也是你人生某些時(shí)刻的縮影和記錄,它們是永久的不可磨滅的記憶。它們對(duì)你來講,不僅僅裝著你迷戀的前任戀人的微笑(你多么希望能讓這笑容再次回到你身邊),它是每一個(gè)快門聲后對(duì)你人生的光影記錄。它里面記錄了你的狗、你的公寓、你的發(fā)型、你的假期、你的工作、你的老單車——所有你在那一刻的模樣,而無論你在和誰約會(huì),又在愛著誰。這是你會(huì)想要去珍惜一輩子的東西,不要因?yàn)橐粫r(shí)沖動(dòng)而把它們都刪掉。
Instead, vault it. Copy everything that's too much to look at onto an external hard drive orsome remote backup system, and then delete it from your machine. Put that hard drive in asock drawer or under your bed. Give it to a friend. Place it where it won't distract and won'tharm, but, when you're ready, can provide a vivid reminder of who you used to be. That'sincredibly powerful! Don't destroy it on a whim。
把它珍藏起來。把那些不忍看的東西復(fù)制到外接硬盤或移動(dòng)儲(chǔ)存設(shè)備上,然后把電腦里的都刪了。把硬盤鎖進(jìn)裝襪子的抽屜,或是塞到床下。交給朋友保存也行??傊阉旁谝粋€(gè)不會(huì)讓你分心和傷心的地方,然后等你恢復(fù)過來的時(shí)候,它便能重放過去那個(gè)栩栩如生的你。這可棒極了!千萬別沖動(dòng)之下毀掉它。
Playlists
播放列表
Yeah, toss these. All leftover playlists will do is smear heartbreaking meaning and nostalgiaover songs you'd otherwise enjoy. Remember, you made this playlist explicitly for your ex—you tailored songs you both love in an order you thought might make them smile and missyou. And all those memories could swamp you based on nothing but this otherwise innocuouslist of MP3s. So get rid of the list. Keep the songs though。
沒錯(cuò),扔了它們。所有那些你們?cè)?jīng)喜歡過的歌曲,都會(huì)在下一次播放的時(shí)候,提醒你那些心碎的過往并喚起你的追憶之心來。記住,這些歌曲列表是你為前任專門設(shè)置的,它們是你倆都喜歡的歌,你曾為了讓ta開心和想念你而特意排列了順序。這些回憶能讓你憑空悲傷,所以把這些播放列表刪掉吧,但歌可以保留。
Emails
郵件
Emails can be as banal and brief as any text message, but there are plenty of exceptions: longones penned while abroad, or traveling, mail with attachments, breakup letters, I Miss Youletters. Rather than sift through everything, archive it all. Do a search for his or her email,select all, and pack it away into a folder. Remember: this email is part of your life history. Itincludes details you won't remember by the time you're long over the breakup, and you'll begrateful for them。
電子郵件有時(shí)候就跟手機(jī)短信一樣乏味而簡(jiǎn)潔,不過也有例外:比如出國(guó)或旅游時(shí)寫的長(zhǎng)郵件、帶附件的郵件、以及分手信和思念信。與其篩遍所有郵件,不如全部歸檔。然后把和ta有關(guān)的郵件找出來,全選并放到一個(gè)專屬文件夾。記住:郵件也是你的生活記錄。它們包含了那些你在分手很久以后會(huì)忘記的細(xì)節(jié),而到時(shí)候你會(huì)慶幸自己保留了它們。
Texts
手機(jī)短信
Delete—this is just an invitation to wallow and/or leap back into ill-advised contact. Both arebad for you。
刪了吧。這些短信只會(huì)讓你沉溺于悲傷或誘使你去聯(lián)系那個(gè)不該再聯(lián)系的人。無論怎樣都對(duì)你沒好處。
Facebook tags
Facebook的圈人標(biāo)記
Again, an opportunity to wallow, a web browser shortcut to melancholy. And who wants afuture prospect to see a bunch of pictures with your ex?
這個(gè)也是誘使你沉溺于往事的壞東西,而且還是個(gè)瀏覽器的捷徑。任何希望有個(gè)光明未來的人都不會(huì)想看到一堆自己和ex的合影的!
There should be a pattern emerging here. It's difficult, but you need to discern what baggageis going to be useful even after all the heavy, horrible, hurtful emotions wear off. What are thebytes that'll have significance on their own, without the love connection? What stuff will remindyou about your life in some broader sense than a relationship that occupied some months oryears of it? What'll be that GIF or TXT you wish to hell you hadn't erased, because who knowswhat it might've reminded you of about the way you used to be?
但要懂得區(qū)分。盡管這很難,但你需要分辨出那些在你消化掉沉重、恐懼和心碎感后,仍能帶來作用的東西。哪些是抹去愛情痕跡后依舊意義重大的照片?哪些是能體現(xiàn)你生命印記而非僅僅記錄你愛情長(zhǎng)跑的照片?哪些是你刪除以后必定會(huì)后悔的東西?無論是gif還是txt格式的東西,它們之中總有些能喚醒你對(duì)過去的記憶。
Those things deserve backup. The rest was just noise all along。
這些東西值得備份。其他的都只是浮云。