大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事精選
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事精選
在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語(yǔ)言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。本文是大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事：二戰(zhàn)伊始
This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest to confess.
一位年長(zhǎng)的意大利男人來(lái)向他的神父告解。
"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
他說(shuō)：“神父，二戰(zhàn)伊始，一個(gè)美麗的猶太女人來(lái)敲我的門(mén)，要把她藏起來(lái)不讓德國(guó)人找到。我于是把她藏在閣樓里，德國(guó)人也的確沒(méi)能找到她。”
"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by marrying me."
“這是件好事兒啊!”神父打斷他說(shuō)，“你根本沒(méi)必要為這事兒來(lái)找我告解啊!” “但后來(lái)好事兒變成了壞事兒，”這個(gè)老人繼續(xù)說(shuō)到，“我不夠堅(jiān)定，我告訴她因?yàn)槲規(guī)土嗣λ运仨氁陨硐嘣S來(lái)回報(bào)我。”
The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly."
神父想了一陣，回答說(shuō)：“恩……那是個(gè)艱難的時(shí)期，你冒了很大風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。如果德國(guó)人發(fā)現(xiàn)你把她藏起來(lái)，你肯定會(huì)很慘。我相信，以上帝的智慧和寬容，他一定能從你的善與惡里找的平衡，饒恕你的罪。”
"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"
“謝謝你神父!你這么說(shuō)我輕松多了!我能再問(wèn)個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?”
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
“你問(wèn)，孩子。”
The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"
“我是不是也必須告訴她二戰(zhàn)已經(jīng)結(jié)束了呢?”
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事：錢(qián)不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it wasoverpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書(shū)時(shí)，我與一名準(zhǔn)備買東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)論。他對(duì)購(gòu)買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說(shuō)它要三十五美分開(kāi)價(jià)過(guò)高。其它的平裝書(shū)每本才賣十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents.Triumphant, he paid with a bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出這本書(shū)保存狀況頗好，納什是個(gè)有趣的詩(shī)人，這個(gè)要價(jià)是合理的。他說(shuō)這是個(gè)原則問(wèn)題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價(jià)格將這本書(shū)賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢(qián)不用找了。”他說(shuō)。
大學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話故事：地獄來(lái)信
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
一個(gè)伊利諾伊州男人離開(kāi)他已經(jīng)開(kāi)始下雪的芝加哥的家、要去南方的福羅里達(dá)州度假。他的太太也正好在福羅里達(dá)出差，準(zhǔn)備第二天跟他碰面。他到了酒店之后，打算先給她太太去一封郵件。
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
因?yàn)檎也坏綄?xiě)下他太太郵件地址的那張紙條，所以他決定憑記憶發(fā)出這封信?？上В谳斎氲刂返臅r(shí)候漏掉了一個(gè)字母，因而把這封郵件發(fā)到了另一位夫人的郵箱，這位夫人的牧師丈夫頭天才剛剛過(guò)世。這個(gè)悲傷的寡婦打開(kāi)郵箱，讀完信后哀嚎一聲、倒在地板上就死了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
她的家人聞聲趕來(lái)，發(fā)現(xiàn)電腦屏幕上留著這么一封信：
Dearest Wife,
親愛(ài)的老婆：
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
我剛剛住進(jìn)來(lái)，一切都準(zhǔn)備好了，就等你來(lái)。
Your Loving Husband.
你親愛(ài)的老公。
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
另：這下面還真是熱。(原意指福羅里達(dá)州在芝加哥南部)
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