笑話是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產(chǎn)生幽默感，另外一個行動(動作)型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感，而感到好笑。下面一起來看一下一些爆笑英語笑話吧。

　　In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”

　　音樂課上，老師問杰克：“請回答，世界上最古老的樂器是什么?”

　　Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”

　　杰克堅定地回答：“是手風(fēng)琴。”

　　The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, yyxhh.com my dear boy?”

　　老師疑惑地問：“為什么是手風(fēng)琴呢，英語笑話我可愛的孩子?”

　　Jack said: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”

　　杰克說：“老師，您沒看見手風(fēng)琴上全是皺紋嗎?”

　　最好的解釋The Best Explanation

　　Once in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”

　　一次物理課上，湯姆的老師問同學(xué)們：“當(dāng)打雷的時候，為什么我們先看到閃電，然后才聽到雷聲呢?”

　　Tom answered the question very quickly, yyxhh.com while his classmates were thinking it hard.

　　當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時，英語笑話湯姆很快就答了上來。

　　Tom’s answer was: because our eyes are before ears.

　　湯姆的回答是：因為眼睛在耳朵的前面。

　　羅馬是什么時候建成的?When Was Rome Built?

　　Teacher: When was Rome built?

　　教師：羅馬是什么時候建成的?

　　Tom: At night.

　　湯姆：夜里。

　　Teacher: Who told you that?

　　教師：誰跟你這么說的?

　　Tom: You did. yyxhh.com You said Rome wasn’t built in a day.

　　湯姆：是您。英語笑話您說過羅馬不是在一個白天建成的。

　　My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him.

　　我在準(zhǔn)備晚飯的時候，我讓年僅五歲的兒子把玩具都收拾起來，但他不愿意收。

　　When I inquired why he wasn’t doing his chores, yyxhh.com he said that he didn’t feel like it.

　　當(dāng)我問他為什么不收時，英語笑話他說他不想做。

　　Exasperated, I said, “Where would you be right now if I didn’t feel like making dinner?”

　　我感到有些惱火，就對他說：“要是我說我不想做晚飯，這時你會在哪里呢?”

　　He thought for a moment and then replied, “A restaurant.”

　　他略加思索便回答：“在飯店里。”

　　When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem.

　　我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，英語笑話總要招來大亂。

　　One Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly.

　　一個星期六，我開始抗議了。

　　“No screaming, grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”

　　“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許閑談，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。”

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “Come, Steven, let’s get dirty.”

　　我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽到我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”

　　小學(xué)英語笑話帶翻譯一：

　　One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself beingbattered(連續(xù)猛擊，磨損) by frantic(狂亂的，瘋狂的) women.He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and armsflailing(打，用連枷打) , he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrillvoice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位看起來很高貴的中年男子想給太太買一件。但是不久他就發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被瘋狂的女人們擠得不成樣子了。 他盡力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，猛烈地舞動著手臂擠過人群。 “你干嘛?”有人在尖叫，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得象位紳士嗎?” “聽著，”他說，“我已經(jīng)象紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個小時。從現(xiàn)在起，我要表現(xiàn)得象位女士。”

　　小學(xué)英語笑話帶翻譯二：

　　"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind.""You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."

　　“啊，可憐的人，”善良的老婦人驚嘆道。“腳瘸就夠慘的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。”“你說的一點兒沒錯，”那乞丐說，他顯然是乞討老手。“我眼瞎的時候，人們老是給我外幣。”

　　小學(xué)英語笑話帶翻譯三：

　　A blonde went into a pizza parlor(客廳，會客室) . When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve.

　　一位金發(fā)女郎走進一家比薩店，她說想要一個中比薩，店員問她希望把比薩切成六塊還是十二塊。噢，天啊，請幫我切成六塊。女郎說，我可不認為我可以吃得下十二塊。