雙語(yǔ)美文:女性到底要高攀還是下嫁
雙語(yǔ)美文:女性到底要高攀還是下嫁
摘要:許多事業(yè)有成的女子都哀嘆,想要找到一個(gè)和自己經(jīng)濟(jì)水平、社會(huì)地位、受教育程度都相當(dāng)?shù)囊庵腥藢?shí)在太難?!度A爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》最近的一篇專(zhuān)欄文章則提供了一些建議,可供參考。
Many successful professional women bemoan the difficulty of finding a husband matching their wealth, social status and education. A recent Wall Street Journal column offers them something to think about.
The article discusses the upsides of “marrying down”, saying today’s ambitious women need partners who are collaborators rather than traditional breadwinners.
許多事業(yè)有成的女子都哀嘆,想要找到一個(gè)和自己經(jīng)濟(jì)水平、社會(huì)地位、受教育程度都相當(dāng)?shù)囊庵腥藢?shí)在太難?!度A爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》最近的一篇專(zhuān)欄文章則提供了一些建議,可供參考。
這篇文章認(rèn)為“下嫁”也許是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的選擇,因?yàn)樵诮裉?,雄心勃勃的女性更需要一個(gè)善于“合作”的伴侶,而非傳統(tǒng)意義上“養(yǎng)家糊口”的丈夫。
Marrying down refers to a woman who marries a man who makes less money or is less educated. The notion of marrying down seems impossibly antiquated, says Sonya Rhodes, a couples therapist and writer of The Wall Street Journal column. It is right out of the Downton Abbey era, says Rhodes, where suitable marriages were entirely a matter of matching people according to social class and fortune.
此處的“下嫁”是指女性與收入或受教育程度不如自己的男性結(jié)婚。而在婚姻治療師、《華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》撰稿人桑亞•羅茲的眼中,這個(gè)概念早已過(guò)時(shí)。早在英國(guó)鄉(xiāng)紳貴族鼎盛的“唐頓”時(shí)代,一樁婚姻合不合適,才完全依對(duì)方的社會(huì)地位與身家財(cái)產(chǎn)而定。
女性到底要高攀還是下嫁
The notion that women should marry up endured well into the 20th century when relatively few high-paying jobs were available to women and the most successful breadwinners were considered the most desirable mates. But the education and job market has been changing since then. More women are graduating from college and graduate school than men.
而“高攀”的觀念之所以在二十世紀(jì)一直深入人心,是因?yàn)楫?dāng)時(shí)的女性很難獲得高薪工作,因此最會(huì)賺錢(qián)養(yǎng)家的男性會(huì)被視為最令人滿(mǎn)意的伴侶。但是,現(xiàn)在教育和工作機(jī)會(huì)與昔日相比早已大不相同,每年從高中和大學(xué)畢業(yè)的女孩甚至比男孩還要多。
In the US, Pew Research Center reported earlier this year that for the first time, “the share of couples in which the wife is the one ‘marrying down’ educationally is higher than those in which the husband has more education.” In 2012, the report notes, 27 percent of newlywed women married a spouse with less education, while only 15 percent of newlywed men did the same.
皮尤研究中心今年早些時(shí)候的報(bào)告則顯示,在美國(guó),妻子受教育程度更高的婚姻比例已經(jīng)首次超過(guò)了丈夫受教育更高的婚姻比例。報(bào)告顯示,2012年,有27%的美國(guó)新婚夫婦,其妻子受教育程度超過(guò)了丈夫,而只有15%的夫婦,其丈夫的受教育程度更高。
China is experiencing a similar situation. Statistics released by the Ministry of Education in 2013 showed that in the past three years, more women have been graduating with a master’s degree than men and the gap has been widening.
中國(guó)的情況也與之相似:教育部2013年公布的數(shù)據(jù)顯示,在過(guò)去的三年間,碩士畢業(yè)的女性數(shù)量一直高于男性,而二者間的人數(shù)差距還在逐年增大。
Suitable match
合適才是王道
Although more education doesn’t necessarily lead to higher pay, in most US cities, single women under 30 now make more money than their male peers, according to analysis by research firm Reach Advisors. Most strikingly, Pew has found that in 24 percent of marriages, women earn more than their husbands, up from 6.2 percent in 1960.
盡管高學(xué)歷并不一定帶來(lái)高收入,但是,美國(guó)研究機(jī)構(gòu)觸角顧問(wèn)分析發(fā)現(xiàn),在美國(guó)的大多數(shù)城市里,30歲以下單身女性的收入都高于同齡男性。在皮尤中心的報(bào)告中,更令人驚訝的是,有24%的夫婦,其妻子的收入都高于丈夫,而1960年這一比例只有6.2%。
But in real life, says Rhodes, when a successful woman “marries down”, rather than receiving blessings she will be told that she should have found someone more her equal.
但是,羅茲也說(shuō)道,在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活里,如果一個(gè)成功的女性選擇“下嫁”,那么她將很難得到祝福,相反,更多的人會(huì)告訴她:你應(yīng)該找一個(gè)更好的人,才配得上你。
But “marrying down” has its benefits. Rhodes says that for most strong, successful women, the alpha male isn’t the best match. Rhodes says two dominant personalities often engage in power struggles. Confident, dominant women need collaborative partners who aren’t threatened by their strength and will support their goals and achievements, says Rhodes. These men can follow as well as lead. They work but aren’t workaholics. They are willing to share more responsibilities of family life.
不過(guò),“下嫁”也有下嫁的好處。羅茲說(shuō):對(duì)于一個(gè)強(qiáng)勢(shì)、成功的女性而言,選擇一個(gè)同樣優(yōu)秀的另一半并不是最合適的。因?yàn)椋绻麅蓚€(gè)人控制欲都很強(qiáng),就會(huì)很容易陷入權(quán)力的斗爭(zhēng)中。相反,自信且控制欲強(qiáng)的女性需要一個(gè)“合作型”的伴侶,他們不會(huì)因?yàn)榕降膹?qiáng)勢(shì)而感到威脅,反而會(huì)支持妻子實(shí)現(xiàn)她們的人生目標(biāo)。這樣的男性,能屈能伸:他們有自己的工作,卻不是工作狂;他們?cè)敢夥謸?dān)更多的家庭責(zé)任。
But perhaps the most important lesson when it comes to romance is that we shouldn’t be concerned about marrying up or down, we should just marry the right person.
但說(shuō)到底還是:“高攀”誠(chéng)可貴,“低就”價(jià)亦高,若為愛(ài)情故,二者皆可拋。