簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄大全
笑話是一種用來(lái)逗笑取樂(lè)的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學(xué)們?cè)谌粘Ｉ詈蛯W(xué)習(xí)中不時(shí)地會(huì)心一笑,還能從中學(xué)習(xí)到不少的英語(yǔ)知識(shí)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Coffee Problem
A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have astabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .
"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.
咖啡問(wèn)題
一位男子來(lái)到醫(yī)生的辦公室。“醫(yī)生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您說(shuō)我該怎么辦?”他問(wèn)道。
“把勺子從咖啡杯里拿出來(lái)。”醫(yī)生回答說(shuō)。
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please," he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without a receipt.
"Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return and gave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.
The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " he said. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.
Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have these altered, please."
花招
一位男子把一條寬松褲遞給百貨商店職員。“我想換一條。”他說(shuō)。店員向他要售貨收據(jù)。這位男子翻遍了他的口袋，最后只得說(shuō)收據(jù)丟了。店員告訴他說(shuō)沒(méi)有收據(jù)不準(zhǔn)隨意更換，這是商店的規(guī)章。
“那好吧，”這位男子說(shuō)，“我要把這條褲子退掉。”店員按程序辦理了退貨手續(xù)并把等于褲子價(jià)格的現(xiàn)金給了他。
這位男子把錢(qián)從柜臺(tái)上推回去。“現(xiàn)在我還要這條褲子，”他說(shuō)。店員用收銀機(jī)收下了錢(qián)，把那條褲子裝進(jìn)包里，并把它們連同收據(jù)遞給了他。
這男子終于以勝利者的姿態(tài)把褲子和收據(jù)放在柜臺(tái)上，說(shuō)：“我要把這條褲子換了。”
簡(jiǎn)短有哲理的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
The Big Baby
"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."
"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look afterour baby. "
"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.
"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things tobuy. "
She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then hepushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were onhis list.
At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
Then he started to scream.
And scream!
And SCREAM!
"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't loseyour temper, George.
A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "
"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
大嬰兒
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人對(duì)丈夫說(shuō)，“我身體不舒服。”
“親愛(ài)的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫說(shuō)，“我很高興照顧我們的孩子。”
“謝謝。今天我將清靜一下了，我很快就會(huì)好點(diǎn)的。”
“我為你去買(mǎi)東西，好嗎?”
她很高興地說(shuō)：“這幫我很大忙呢。我給你列個(gè)要買(mǎi)的東西的單子。”
她列好單子，遞給他。
“在超級(jí)市場(chǎng)你能買(mǎi)到這些東西，”她說(shuō)。
“你把孩子放在購(gòu)物手推車(chē)?yán)?，就不用把孩子留在外面了?rdquo;
男人帶著孩子到超市，把他放在推車(chē)?yán)铩Ｈ缓笸浦?chē)子沿著貨架走，尋找單子列出的東西。
開(kāi)始一切都進(jìn)行得很順利，接著孩子開(kāi)始哭起來(lái)。
然后孩子開(kāi)始尖聲喊叫。
尖叫。
又尖叫。
“保持鎮(zhèn)靜，喬治，”男人說(shuō)，“不要沖動(dòng)。不要喊叫，喬治。不要發(fā)脾氣，喬治。”
一個(gè)女人在超市聽(tīng)到他說(shuō)的這些話。她走到他跟前。
“我覺(jué)得你真不錯(cuò)，“她說(shuō)，”你對(duì)你的小喬治真有耐心。”
“夫人，”男人說(shuō)，“我是喬治，他是愛(ài)德華。”
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