下面小編給大家整理的英文爆笑笑話(huà)六篇，希望大家會(huì)喜歡。

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)一：　Lose One Pound減掉一磅

　　I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"

　　我稱(chēng)贊我的一個(gè)同事減肥10磅?？墒牵医蛔】湟f(shuō)我17歲時(shí)，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說(shuō)：“這對(duì)我這樣年齡的男子來(lái)說(shuō)，是不錯(cuò)的。”

　　一個(gè)女子聽(tīng)到了這些話(huà)，她說(shuō)道：“你是說(shuō)你花了這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才減了1磅?”

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)二：The doctor lives downstairs醫(yī)生住在樓下

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。“我想讓你坦率地說(shuō)我到底得了什么病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會(huì)改變。第三，我是一位畫(huà)家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)三：它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō)：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的。”

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)四：The King and His Stories

　　Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good.

　　One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.

　　After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them.

　　After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: “ Take me back to prison, please.”

　　國(guó)王和他的故事

　　從前有一個(gè)國(guó)王，他喜歡寫(xiě)故事，但是他寫(xiě)的故事很不好。人們怕他，都說(shuō)他的故事好。有一天國(guó)王把他的故事給一名作家看，他想要作家贊揚(yáng)他的這些故事，而作家說(shuō)他的故事是如此的差以至于該扔進(jìn)火里。國(guó)王很生氣，把他送到監(jiān)獄。

　　過(guò)了些日子，國(guó)王給了作家自由。國(guó)王重新將自己的一些新故事給作家看并問(wèn)他感覺(jué)怎么樣。

　　作家看了之后立刻轉(zhuǎn)身對(duì)士兵說(shuō)著;“請(qǐng)把我送回監(jiān)獄

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)五：Buy the ice

　　Once a simpleton’s wife told him to buy some ice.

　　Two hours later, he didn’t come back. She wanted to know why he didn’t come back and went out to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watching the ice melting.

　　“What’s the matter?” She asked him. “Why don’t you bring it in?”

　　“I saw the ice was wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry.” The simpleton answered.

　　從前有一個(gè)笨人的妻子讓她的丈夫買(mǎi)幾塊冰。

　　兩個(gè)小時(shí)后，他還沒(méi)回來(lái)。

　　她想知道他為什么沒(méi)回來(lái)，就出去看了看，發(fā)現(xiàn)她的丈夫在門(mén)口站著，在太陽(yáng)下曬冰，看著冰融化。

　　她問(wèn)他：“怎么啦?你為什么不把它拿進(jìn)來(lái)?”

　　“我看見(jiàn)冰是濕的，恐怕你會(huì)訓(xùn)斥我，因此，我正在把它曬干。”笨人回答道。

　　英文爆笑笑話(huà)六：You may put my beard on again

　　A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.

　　"Two pence," said the man.

　　"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."

　　The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.

　　"A penny." said the barber.

　　"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人和理發(fā)師

　　一個(gè)賣(mài)掃帚的人去一家理發(fā)店修面.理發(fā)師向他買(mǎi)了一把掃帚.當(dāng)理發(fā)師給他修完面后,問(wèn)了一下掃帚的價(jià)錢(qián).

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人說(shuō):"兩便士"

　　"不,不"理發(fā)師說(shuō),"我只出一便士.如果你認(rèn)為不夠的話(huà),可以把掃帚拿回去."

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人取回了掃帚,隨后問(wèn)修面要付多少錢(qián).

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人說(shuō):"我只能給你半個(gè)便士,如果你認(rèn)為不夠的話(huà),你可以把胡子再替我裝上."