在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)砩罱?jīng)典幽默笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活經(jīng)典幽默笑話：會(huì)彈鋼琴的狗

　　A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

　　一個(gè)人帶著他的狗走進(jìn)一家酒吧。

　　The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

　　酒吧服務(wù)生對(duì)他說，“這里不能帶狗進(jìn)來，請(qǐng)離開吧!”

　　The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"

　　那個(gè)人對(duì)服務(wù)生說，“這可不是一般的狗，它可是會(huì)彈鋼琴的!”

　　So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

　　服務(wù)生回答說，“呃， 如果它真的能彈鋼琴，你們可以免費(fèi)在這喝上一杯!”

　　Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

　　那個(gè)人把狗放到了彈鋼琴坐的凳子上面，狗就開始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音樂、接著彈莫扎特還有其它的… …服務(wù)生和顧客們都非常欣賞它的彈奏。

　　Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

　　突然，一只體型更大的狗跑了進(jìn)來 ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

　　The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

　　酒吧服務(wù)生問那個(gè)人，“那是怎么回事?”

　　The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

　　那人回答 ，“噢，那是它媽媽。 她不想它兒子玩音樂，而是做一名醫(yī)生。”

　　生活經(jīng)典幽默笑話：笨小孩

　　A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.

　　一個(gè)小男孩走進(jìn)一家理發(fā)店， 理發(fā)師低聲對(duì)他的顧客說，“我再也沒見過比這個(gè)小子更笨的小孩了， 你看著，我證明給你看。”

　　" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

　　理發(fā)師拿出一張1美元的鈔票放在一只手上，另一只手上則拿著兩個(gè)25美分的硬幣，把小孩叫跟前問，“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那兩個(gè)25美分然后走了。

　　"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,

　　“瞧我剛才怎么跟你說的?”

　　when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

　　理發(fā)師說，“那小子就不會(huì)學(xué)精點(diǎn)!” 過了一會(huì)，顧客離開了理發(fā)店，他發(fā)現(xiàn)剛才那個(gè)小男孩從一間雪糕店走出來。

　　"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

　　“嘿，小家伙! 我可以問你個(gè)問題嗎?

　　Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

　　你為什么不拿那一美元，而拿那兩個(gè)25 美分呢?”

　　The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!

　　小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答說，“我要是拿了那一美元的鈔票，以后那剪頭的再也不會(huì)給我錢了!”

　　生活經(jīng)典幽默笑話：五百遍

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,

　　在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里，

　　a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

　　一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。

　　She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.

　　女士向法官解釋，她是一名學(xué)校老師，請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。

　　A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.

　　法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學(xué)校的老師，對(duì)嗎?

　　"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　女士，我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”