簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話(huà)或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語(yǔ)言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇一
死亡訃告
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost tohave an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.
地方報(bào)社負(fù)責(zé)刊登死亡訃告的部門(mén)電話(huà)響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢(qián)?”一位女士問(wèn)。
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after amoment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."
“五美元一個(gè)字，太太。”書(shū)記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會(huì)兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
“好的，這樣寫(xiě)：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書(shū)記員疑惑地問(wèn)道。“對(duì)，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒(méi)有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個(gè)字。”
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac forSale.'"
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你就應(yīng)該告訴我，”女士有點(diǎn)生氣了，“現(xiàn)在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫(xiě)：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車(chē)。’”
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇二
沒(méi)問(wèn)題
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
一個(gè)禿頭的男人坐在理發(fā)店里。
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but Icouldn't stand the pain.
發(fā)型師問(wèn)：“有什么可以幫你嗎?”那個(gè)人解釋說(shuō)：“我本來(lái)要去做頭發(fā)移植，但實(shí)在太疼了。
If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you,000."
如果你能夠讓我的頭發(fā)看起來(lái)像你的一樣，而且沒(méi)有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
“沒(méi)問(wèn)題，”發(fā)型師說(shuō)，然后他很快幫自己剃了個(gè)光頭。
簡(jiǎn)短的簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)篇三
誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺(jué)，妻子告訴我說(shuō)我沒(méi)有關(guān)儲(chǔ)藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶(hù)看見(jiàn)那還亮著。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.
我也透過(guò)窗戶(hù)朝那邊看，發(fā)現(xiàn)有幾個(gè)人正在偷東西。我趕忙報(bào)警，但是警察局說(shuō)現(xiàn)在沒(méi)有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過(guò)來(lái)。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."
我說(shuō)沒(méi)問(wèn)題，然后掛了電話(huà)，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過(guò)去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過(guò)電話(huà)來(lái)，我告訴你說(shuō)有人正在我家的儲(chǔ)藏室偷東西。但是現(xiàn)在沒(méi)事了，因?yàn)槲覄倓傞_(kāi)槍把他們都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
隨后，五分鐘之內(nèi)有六輛警車(chē)來(lái)到了我家，警報(bào)也響了。當(dāng)然，他們當(dāng)場(chǎng)抓住了竊賊。有個(gè)警察對(duì)我說(shuō)：“我記得你說(shuō)你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說(shuō)現(xiàn)在誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空。”
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