簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)砗?jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話1：
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動(dòng)的小老頭.
“我無(wú)意中發(fā)現(xiàn),你是多么幸福,”那女士說.“你幸福而長(zhǎng)壽的秘密是什么?”
“我每天抽三包煙,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且從來不曾鍛煉.”
“哦,真神奇,”女士說.“你高壽?”
“26歲.”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話2：
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話3：
One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
一天，放學(xué)以后，老師對(duì)他的學(xué)生們說：“明天上午，如果你們當(dāng)中的任何一個(gè)同學(xué)能回答我的第一個(gè)問題，我就準(zhǔn)許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進(jìn)教室時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)黑板已被亂涂，他非常生氣地問：“誰(shuí)涂的? 請(qǐng)站起來。”鮑勃說：“先生，是我，現(xiàn)在我可以回家了，再見。”
簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)幽默笑話4：
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.
在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。
A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問坐在首位的那位男士道：
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
“對(duì)不起，請(qǐng)問我剛才出去的時(shí)候是踩著你的腳嗎?”
"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
“是的，不過沒什么關(guān)系，一點(diǎn)也不疼。”
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
“噢，不，我不是這個(gè)意思。我只是想確認(rèn)一下這是不是我的那排位子。”
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